


The Swimmer and the Soccer Player

by orphan_account



Series: TSATSP [1]
Category: Memphis May Fire, More i dont feel like listing, My Chemical Romance, Of Mice & Men (Band), Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Abusive Mother, Adoption, Alcoholism, Betrayal, Blowjobs, Cashby, Charcter thought to be dead, Cheating, Child Abuse, Counseling, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Frerard, Grinding, High School AU, Hurt, Kissing, Love, M/M, Mental Scarring, Moving, Sex/ smut, break ups, kellic - Freeform, major choices, relationship, veteran dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:57:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5391821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At Clairmont high, the two main sports teams are the swim team and the soccer team. Kellin Quinn is the captain of the swim team, and very proud of it. He is nice to pretty much everyone except one person. Vic Fuentes, captain of the soccer team. Since middle school these two have been enemies, and no one really knows why, high school lives off drama, so no one cares about explanation.<br/>They are always competing against each other, and doing the best they can to ruin the other's life. </p><p>This is the story of how these mortal enemies fell in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kellin's POV

The first day of senior year of high school. Probably he.ll for most teens, but not me. I actually like school. I like learning, and trying out new things, meeting new people. Plus, it takes up time during the day when I would otherwise be at home, with my overbearing parents. I love them, but they hardly give me breathing room. 

I woke up to the annoying sound of my alarm clock. When I first got it, I kinda liked the sound, but after waking up to for two years, it is the most he.llish sound there is. I quickly shut it off, just in time for my mom to walk in my room. 

"C'mon, Kellin, get up! First day!" she smiled cheerfully at me. 

"I know, I know. " I said, "But you have to get out for me to change."

"Oh, right." She smiled again and left. From the open door I could smell food being cooked. My mom doesn't usually cook me breakfast, but today is my 'special day' and all.

I closed the door and chose what to wear. I decided on black skinny jeans, a band shirt, and unbuttoned flannel on top of the band shirt. Oh, and TOMS of course. 

I ate quickly, but of course my mom wanted to take five billion pictures of me. As soon as I could get away, I did. 

I drove to school with a faint smile on my face. I couldn't help it; I'm a naturally happy person. Some people think I'm weird, but I'm ok with that. Weird is just a synonym for rare, and rare is unique, so these people were complimenting me.

Everything was going fine till I parked and got out of my car. Because in the spot right next to mine, was the car and it's owner. Its owner being the one and only, Vic Fuentes. 

Let me get this straight. I generally like people. I like befriending them, I like talking to them. I like learning what makes them tick, what they love and what they hate. I like to hear they're best dreams and comfort them about their worst nightmares. I am generally a people person. I only hate two people.

One of them is my biological mother. The other is Victor Fuentes.

Why I hate my biological mother is of no importance right now. The reasons I hated Vic were simple. He was rude to me, always trying to mess up my life, and he had absolutely no reason to. Because he hates me he has done multiple things to me to mess up my life. For example in one week he managed to make it look like I cheated on a test, he was rude to my friend Alan, and he hit my car. Also he paid a few students to come to a swim meet and boo me and my team.

That is just not cool, and neither is he. I don't really know why he hates me, but I don't care. Well, I do slightly. Anyone would want to know why someone hated them. Like, what did I ever do to you?

To me, Vic was simply the Mexican form of the devil. (Low-key the deal reference) And he viewed me the same way. Well, not Mexican, but the white pale boy form of the devil, I guess. Whatever. 

"Hey dic.kwad." I greeted Vic, snarling slightly. He was leaning against his car, looking at his phone. He looked up when I spoke to him, looking for the source of offense, and when his eyes landed on me he frowned. 

But then be did something unexpected. He laughed at me. Rude. "Why hello there Prissy," he said. Prissy was his annoying nickname for me, and I hated it. "Don't you think it's a bit early? Only first day you know. Or is it that you just couldn't stay away?" He smirked at me.

Ok, let me explain. The first week of middle school, before I knew him, I had a small, irelevent, tiny crush on Vic. It faded as soon as I got to know him better, but in freshmen year of high school, one of my friends got mad or drunk (I can't remember which, maybe both) and told him. I was really mad at him for awhile, but I forgave him because I valued our friendship. But Vic? Knowing this, he hung it over my head any chance he got. 

As he was doing now. "Oh please, as.shat," I said, with confidence. "You know you're the last person on earth I'd try to get close to on purpose. For obvious reasons." I gestured to him, insulting his appearance. "Don't flatter yourself." I smirked right back at him. With that I walked up to the school, not even glancing back at him. I did see him flip me off before I turned around though. Ugh, what an as.shole.

Whatever. I was not going to let Vic Fuentes ruin my day. 

*******

(Still Kellin's POV)

After lunch, I headed off to music class, a smile on face. Today had been going great, other than my brief encounter with Vic. All of my teachers seemed fairly nice, and I had a lot of my friends in my classes. Then again, I'm friends with most everyone, so that wasn't some great feat. As I said, I'm a people person. But it was still nice. 

Most of all, it was great because Vic was so far in none of my classes. I knew he'd probably be in at least a a few, but so far I'd let my hopes rise as class after class didn't have him in it. All that hope faded when I walked into the music classroom, and there, surrounded by his friends, was Vic.

Oh fu.ck. I loved music, I loved to sing. But knowing Vic, this class would become my least favorite. Of all the classes, and he had to ruin music. 

Vic rolled his eyes when he saw me walk through the door. I let out an annoyed sigh, but then tried to ignore him as I sat down with my friends. Matty and Alan were in this class, thank god. I knew they'd keep me sane. Or at least they'd help make this class enjoyable for me. 

A few minutes later, the bell ring, starting class. When it finished, our teacher got the attention of the class. He looked young, his first day of school name tag said ' Mr. Iero '. He had fiery red hair and an aura of sass. 

"Alright, class. Settle down", he said. "As some of you may have seen, I am Mr. Iero, and I will be teaching your music class this year. " He looked around and said, "First, though, I get to butcher some names during our first roll call of the year. Fun, fun, fun!" He was sarcastic. That was cool, I could already tell he would be one of my favorite teachers.

"Kay," he looked at the paper and started reading off names. I knew I'd be near the end, as my last name was Quinn. It used to be Bostwick, but when I moved I asked my mom to have my new last name to be Quinn, not Jardine. I was right, I was the last kid called. "Kellin Quinn?", he asked.

I raised my hand. "Here." He smiled at me. 

"Great. Now, we can start with the actual music stuff. So, were gonna start this year off with a project." Half of the class groaned, half looked excited. I was part of the half that was excited. Sue me, I like projects. He chuckled at the class reaction. "Don't worry, it won't be hard." He reassured us. "You'll have a month to compose an original song, so it's due on... September 21st. You'll be with a partner, which I have already chosen for you." We all groaned at that. 

He smiled at us again and shook his head slightly. "Wow, calm it kids. I asked some of your teachers from last year who would go well together, you'll most likely be with your friends." Oh, that was cool. I liked this teacher, he seemed to actually care about teaching and his students. He announced the pair's one by one. "Kellin Quinn, you'll be working with Matty Mullins."

I smiled at Matty. Yes! This project would be great with him. Mr. Iero announced the rest of the pair's, then talked more about the project. "You are allowed to sing, and have instruments, or both, or just have one. I don't really care as long as I can see effort. I'm really looking forward to see what you guys come up with, hopefully I will learn more about you guys because of it."

I was really looking forward to this project already. I loved composing songs, and to do that with one of my best friends? Just awesome. 

"So, there's a sign up sheet for the music practice rooms, and the recording room. I'd advise using the school recording room, unless you want to preform live." Mr. Iero continued," But with the recording room you can add and mix instrumentals if neither of you plays or if you just want more sound. I can answer questions, and I'll be checking up on each group as the month goes by. " He looked like he was thinking and he bit his lip. Then he ran his fingers through his hair. 

"I was sure there was something else..." he muttered. "Oh, right!" he remembered, "Try to keep swearing to a minimum. I'm ok with a few curse words, but not more than... ten times. Ok?" We all nodded enthusiastically. The fact he was letting us have cussing in our songs at all was great. No other teacher would have tolerated even one swear word.

"Great!" exclaimed Mr. Iero, "Why don't you guys get started then?" The room exploded in excited chatter.

I turned to Matty. "Hey, partner." I smirked flirty. He grinned back.

"Hey." He winked. We kept straight faces for a second, then both cracked up laughing at the same time. 

See, Matty and I dated for about 6 months two years ago, but after a while we mutually decided we were more friends, and ended it. We still flirted all the time, just for the fun of it. We also had a pact to be each other's dates for any dance or something if neither of us had dates. I lost my gay virginity to him, and we were pretty close, but we didn't have any lingering romantic feelings for each other.

I'm bisexual, by the way.

"So what kinda song do you think you want?", Matty asked. I considered the question heavily. I had a lot of songs I could do with Matty, slow, fast, sad, happy. 

"Why don't we write something with some attitude, sarcasm. I think our teacher would like that," I said, gesturing to Mr. Iero.

Matty nodded. "Yeah, he seems like he'd find it funny. Let's add arrogant to that list too; really spice up this song. " I grinned. This was gonna be awesome.

We worked little more, and got some lyrics. We decided to name the song 'Congratulations'. From what we had written so far, it was a pretty rocking song. It had all the elements we'd wanted.

It was a little spoiled because of a certain person. Do I even have to say who it was? Dic.k Fuentes, of course. He came up behind us quietly. "Nice song, Matty.", he said. "I'm sure prissy here had no part in it though, he's too pathetic."

"Get out of here, as.shole. We don't want to take up your time." I told him angrily.

Matty laughed. He was friends with both of us, and was always greatly amused by our arguments. "I'm ok with him being here, Kell. It's just you you wants him gone."

"Fu.ck off." I grumbled. 

Vic fucking laughed at me. Again. Ugh I hated him. "Fine prissy, I'm leaving. See you later Matty!" He then walked past me, slapping the back of my head in the process. Ow, fu.ck that hurt.

"Get out you fu.ckwad!" I yelled after him. Mr. Iero heard, and looked up in amusement. 

Mr. Iero chuckled under his breath. "Quality entertainment," he said, " high school drama."

"It's not so much drama as kellin confusing his as.s for a hat all the time, Mr. Iero." Vic said smugly. At that Mr. Iero let out a real laugh. 

He feigned wiping tears from his eyes. "I have to tell you two to stop, because I'm a teacher." He said. "Oh my god." He chuckled again. "Confuses his as.s for a hat. I'm gonna tell my Frank about this. He'll get a real laugh out of it." He saw some of our confused looks, and said, "Oh, Frank is my husband."

Oh cool, our teacher was gay. That was nice, because I'd had one or two hom.ophobic teachers in the past, and while they were usually perfectly nice, it was hard to really be myself in their classes. "You have a husband?", I asked.

"Oh yeah, for three years a month ago. Wanna see a picture?" Mr. Iero said. Of course everyone said yes, and we saw multiple pictures from Mr. Iero's phone. They were of a guy with black hair and a friendly smile. Frank looked pretty cool. We also learned that Mr. Iero had taken Frank's last name when they got married. His original last name was Way. 

The rest of the day progressed fast. Sooner than I was sure was possible, the day was over. When I got to my car, I was happy to see Vic had already left. I got a text from Alan before I left school : I'm having a back to school party, it's starts at 6, come early before the booze is gone ;)

I texted back : ok ill be there at like 7, my mom will want me to have family dinner and stuff :/

The reply was quick and short : k man, see u there!

*******

When I got home, I was right about my mom. Me, her, Dad, and my four years younger sister, Taylor, had a family dinner. I told my mom I was sleeping over at Alan's, and she said ok without giving it a thought. The rest of the dinner mosty consisted of Taylor talking about 8th grade. But then, near the end of dinner, my mom said something that shook me.

"So, Kellin," she started, "um, She called again. She really wants to talk to you. About everything."

I froze. I looked directly at mom and said clearly," Tell her no. I'm not talking to her now, or ever. What she did was inexcusable, and unforgivable. I never want to be in contact with that woman ever. If she asks again, just tell her no."

My mom looked at me with a sympathetic expression on her face. "Ok, sweetie. It's alright. We'll never force you to talk to her or see her again."

I breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. "Thank you."

*******

Dinner ended shortly after that. I headed off to Alan's, and got semi-drunk. I didn't sleep with anyone, but I did sleep over. The drink was a nice distraction from thoughts of her. 

I saw Vic. He was making out with a girl in the corner, then thirty minutes later he was back there again with a guy. Then a different guy. Finally I saw him go to a room with a girl that had red hair. I chuckled. What a man-who.re.

A perfectly fine day, ruined by talk of her and just the sight of Vic. Still, I tried to have fun with my friends. I couldn't drink too much, the first swim practice was tomorrow, and I was the captain of the school's swim team this year. I would not disappoint the coach.

I fell asleep with thoughts of booze, Vic, her, and swimming filtering my brain. Then my eyes slipped down for the last time and I fell asleep on Alan's couch. The day was over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is the first day, just in Vic's POV

Vic's POV

     I woke up on that morning to my brother yelling, "Vic! Get up! We have to visit hell again today!" I groaned, wishing I could sleep more. Ugh, I hate school. Whatever, I can't miss the first day. I had to meet with the soccer coach. I was team captain this year, and we'd be going over my responsibilities and such.

     I got dressed, black converse with dark blue skinny jeans. Also a nirvana t-shirt. Then I put on like ten bracelets to cover the mostly faded scars on my wrists.

     Stupid mistakes from years ago. Still, they seem to refuse to tan over completely. I was almost three years clean today. Freshman year and all of middle school were pretty rough. But I got over it. 

     I wasn't driving Mike to school today; he wanted to take the bus. Something about seeing friends again. I didn't care. I knew within a week I'd be driving him, AND probably one of his friends. I was already driving Jaime and Tony. So with five seats in my car we'd only have room for one friend. Hopefully he would decide Jaime and Tony were enough friends for the car.

     I ate a quick breakfast, and about ten minutes after seeing Mike get on the bus, went off to first Tony's house; he was closer. Then I went to Jaime's and we went off to school. 

     The whole ride was fun, how could it not be when I was riding with my two best friends? When we got to school, they had to leave. I forgot the reason, I didn't really care. Probably getting high or some sh.it. I decided not to go with them, and i just leaned up against my car for the rest of the time before school started.

     A little while before the bell was supposed to ring, they previously vacant parking spot next to mine filled up. I was still looking down at my phone, so I didn't see who stepped out of the car, but due to their response to me I could tell pretty fast.

     "Hey di.ckwad." I looked up to see Kellin Quinn. Just those two words inflamed me, but I tried to keep my cool. Calm down, Vic, I thought to myself. So I laughed at him. He frowned when I did this. Yes!! Anything that mad him mad made me happy.

     I have hated Kellin for a long time. Ten years. I didn't know him for the first three, but I still hated him. I went to a Catholic private school, where homo.phobia is practically part of the curriculum. He lived in the house across the street from mine for the first three years. And I had a crush on him.

     I refused to believe it. I couldn't be gay! So I transferred my feelings into hate. He moved in the summer between 5th and 6th grade. That was also the summer I accepted who I was. I no longer hated Kellin. But that all changed when I came out as bi to my parents. 

     My mother left that night. She refused to have a 'fag.got' for a son. My dad was ok with it. So was Mike. She left me for my sexuality, and she left dad and Mike for supporting me. My dad could hardly look at me. He'd been in love with mom since he was a sophomore in high school. And it was my fault she left.

     I hardly see him anymore, he goes on long business trips far away. He's never back for more than a week. I raised myself and Mike from 6th grade till now. 

     Needless to say, I hated Kellin again three days after I came out. I had been free of hate for only a week. But it was ok, I didn't know him. It never went through my head that he might be at my new school. New, because Dad wasn't gonna make me go to a Catholic school any more. I had figured Kellin had moved far away.

     No. Just five blocks away. He had a new family. A new last name too. His new last name didn't match the rest of his family's. I didn't get that. His old mom was still in his house. I didn't get that either. Still didn't. But In 6th grade, he had everything. He had a new family, lots of friends, and a nice personality. I was a bitter kid. It was Kellin's fault my mom left.

     I didn't still believe that. I had come to grips with the fact that it was because I was gay, Kellin didn't even know me. But in 6th grade? He.ll no. So yeah. I was mean to him. And ever since he's been mean to me. A few times I tried being nice, but he never gave me a chance past the first two years I knew him.

     Whatever. I hated him. I didn't care. Besides, it was kinda cool to have an arch enemy. If I was bored I always had something to do. Needless to say I obviously didn't have a crush on him. Not since 5th grade. 

     "Why hello there Prissy. Don't you think it's a bit early? Only first day and all. Or is it that you just couldn't stay away?" I said to him, smirking.

     "Oh please, as.shat. You know you're the last person I'd try to get close to on purpose." He gestured to me, insulting my appearance. How pathetic.

     I knew he found me attractive. His friend, Justin, got mad at him in freshmen year and told me about how Kellin had a crush on me in 6th grade. That and the fact that sometimes he started at me without realizing it totally confirmed he thought I was hot. I knew he hated me, but I also knew he was attracted to me. 

     "Don't flatter yourself."he finished. I flipped him off with a grin, and he simply turned away and walked up to the school. I chuckled. I'd mess with him soon. I just needed a plan. I was a bit preoccupied at the moment however.

     Why? Well, I had a, um, appointment with Mr. Purdy. He was my new math teacher. I was awful at math. He knew, from going over each students math skills. He confronted me on it a few weeks before school. I met up with him at his house after he e-mailed me about it. Mr. Purdy turned out to be young and hot. Let's just say I'd have an A in math the rest of the year.

     To most people that would be disgusting. Sleeping with a teacher in exchange for good grades. But Mr. Purdy was only 24, he was hot, and I needed a good grade for college. It was just an exchange of goods. I've never really placed a value on sex. I never planned on taking math again anyway. I just needed to get a good enough gpa to get into college. There were no strings attached. Besides, Mr. Purdy was a good fu.ck.

     So I headed off to school. I couldn't be late for my appointment.

*******

     After doing Mr. Purdy, or I guess being done, as he was not a bottom, I went to my first hour class five minutes early. Why not? It was English. Not advanced. I wasn't advanced in any classes. I've never been really smart, and I've never cared. I always knew my life would depend on getting into a school with a good soccer program. 

     When I walked in the teacher raised an eyebrow at my slight limp, but she said nothing. I guess she was used to it. Mr. Purdy had been teaching for three years, he told me. I also knew I wasn't the only student he was fu.cking. I could tell Andy Biersack, a friend from soccer, had been fucking Mr. Purdy since the end of last year. He told me. I had just assumed Mr. Purdy was an old gross dude. I never knew he really was purdy.

     The class started, and I got bored. The day seemed to go faster, and suddenly 5th hour was over, and it was lunch time. Next I had music. Mr. Iero, a family friend, was the teacher, so I was excited. I'd just have to be careful not to call him Gerard.

*******

     Music class was cool, I got to torment Kellin. During gym I met with and talked to the coach about the soccer team, and I was satisfied with the conversation. I had a lot of new responsibilities, but it had its benefits too. The rest of the day kinda blurred together till Alan's party. Alan saw me walk in and came to greet me.

     "Hey man!" he exclaimed. "Glad you could make it. I thought you might just decide to get laid tonight, but hey! You proved me wrong. "

     "Hey, wait, slow the fu.ck down. Just cause I came does not mean I'm not getting laid.", I said, smiling. Alan always teased me about how much sex I had. He was probably jealous, but then again I knew he was secretly fu.cking Austin, so he was getting some, believe it or not. Just not some of the gender everyone expected. Alan is in the closet. Why, I have no idea. We have one of the most accepting schools ever. 

     "Whatever." he said. He was looking with bright eyes at someone. Heart eyes! Aw, that's adorable. 'Calm down, Vic', I thought to myself. 'Your gay is showing.' I followed his gaze to see he was looking at Austin. I laughed.

     "W-what?" he stuttered. I had his attention now. "I wasn't staring, I swear!" He said when he saw my face, "I just... haven't seen Austin in awhile!" I laughed again at his pathetic attempt to cover his tracks.

     "Go get him, tiger.", I said, slapping his back and shoving him lightly toward Austin. He smiled back.

     "Thanks Vic. I knew you'd understand." he said, and with that he walked over to Austin. They talked for a second till they, hand in hand, walked upstairs. They smiled at me as they passed. They weren't being very careful in hiding it, but pretty much everyone was drunk right now. No one would remember anything.

     I had my first and second drink with a girl. She was pretty, with natural blonde hair and minimal make-up. She looked practically angelic. But her devilish side made itself clear when we made out in the corner. And when her boyfriend showed up. She tried to make it look like my fault, but the guy believed me. 

     They had a pretty intense break up fight, and when she walked off I had three drinks with the boyfriend. Next thing I knew it was the boyfriend and I making out on the corner. But I stopped it pretty fast. He was practically drunk, and I didn't want to take advantage if a drunk, just broken up with person. He also wasn't hot enough to really pursue.

     Later, I made out with Jaime as a dare. He was a pretty good kisser, I'll admit. But he wasn't my type, I had no feelings for him and he felt the same way. It was just a dare. 

     We laughed about it over sixth, seventh, and eighth drink. By now, everyone was attractive, and a red head caught my eye. We didn't exchange any words, I just brought her to the corner to test her kissing skills. She didn't protest, and she was also a dam.n good kisser. I smirked, cause I finally found who I'd be spending my night with.

     I led her to a bedroom, and that was all I could remember of that night. I woke up next to her with a giant headache, in a bed, naked, and with a little memory of last night. We had a quick go before we parted ways. It was understood that it was just sex, but I couldn't help but smile at the memory of her. 

      She was a good fu.ck, but I'd never see her again. From what little I got about her, she was moving to Missouri. I never even got her name. And I never gave her mine.

     I went home around noon, it was saturday. When I got home, I got a call from Mr. Purdy. I smirked, and left to go to his place. Time to earn my A.


	3. Chapter 3

Kellin's POV

Never had I been more grateful for the fact my school had its first day on a Friday. Not only did it help get used to school again, you could drink and party yourself half dead, and not have to worry about school or homework yet! God, I sound like I'm advertising. 

So, yeah, I woke up with a killer headache, just in time to hear Vic and whatever girl he slept with having another go. Gross. I mean, sex is sex, whatever. But I've never been the kind to enjoy listening or watching others have sex. Just Ew. I'm fine having sex myself. But other people, and listening or stuff... no. Just no. Not for me. Nope.

I drank water, had two ibuprofen, and headed off. I was pretty much the only person awake, other than Vic and whoever, of course. I also wanted to leave while it remained that way. Dealing with a bunch of hung over people is not my definition of fun.

Of course, when I got home, there was hell to pay. I did say my parents are overbearing. Maybe it's because of my past, maybe they would be like that anyway. Well, either way, they are.

"Kellin Quinn Bo-", she started yelling when I walked in, and almost said my old last name, but caught herself. "Kellin", she said, calmer this time. "I tried calling you seven times! Why didn't you answer? Your father and I were so worried! You never texted to say if you got to Alan's safely! I barely slept last night! Kellin, stop laughing, we were worried!" She finished looking flustered. I knew she wasn't mad, she just loved me. 

I didn't answer any of her questions, but I was slightly chuckling at mom. 'God, I love her', I thought. 'She's the mom I had always wanted. The one I wished for whenever she was, well, I'm not going to think about that. Point is, I love my family.'

"I was fine, mom." I said. "My phone ran out of battery. I'm a little tired, so I'm going to take a nap." The phone thing was a little white lie, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. 

She smiled a little weakly at me. After looking at me like that for a second, she pulled me into a warm hug. "I just worry about you," she whispered, "more than your sister. With your past, and all. I just want to protect you. I don't want you hurt like you were... before." She laughed a little. "Maybe I'm just crazy..."

I hugged her back. "Its fine, mom. It's kinda nice to have someone to worry about you." I pulled away, and she smiled at me. 

"Ok. Go sleep, I can tell you're tired." She patted my back, and I went to my room, and crashed. I had no dreams.

Vic's POV (skipping to Monday, because the weekend was uneventful)

He lowered his mouth to my throbbing ere.ction. His green-blue-gray eyes were wide and innocent looking. His plump, pink lips opened, and just as he was about to take my di.ck into his mouth, I woke up.

First of all, what the actual fu.ck?! Did I really just dream about that, with Kellin? I didn't have a crush on him anymore. I hated him! Sure, he was attractive, but there's a lot of attractive people at my school I haven't dreamed about. 

Whatever. I'd just have to try not to look at him weird today... I didn't need anyone thinking I have a crush on Kellin Quinn.

Still... it was a hot dream. And now I had a problem in my pants just remembering it. He was pretty attractive, and if I ever was put in a situation with him even vaguely sexual I'd take advantage of it, that's for sure. Still, it was Kellin. I could not afford to think about him that way. He'd mess with my head. 

I woke up Mike after my problem in my pants cooled down. "Wake the fu.ck up, man!", I yelled, walking into his room. 

"Fu.cking hell, Vic!" he muttered. "It's too fu.cking early." I huff in annoyance. 

"Still, dude. We gotta get to school, remember? Summer is goooooone." I remind him harshly. I walk over to him and I slapped the back of his head. That did the trick, and he was suddenly up.

"School?! Fu.ck I forgot! Ugh, get out, I need to change and you need to eat and agh fu.cking he.ll!!" I smirk at his outburst and get out of his room. I needed to get to school early, Mr.Purdy requested another meeting this morning.

I was already ready to go, and I couldn't wait any longer after waiting fifteen fu.cking minutes for him. "Take the bus, dude!" I called down. "I've gotta go now!" But just then he bumped into me, running out of his room.

"Naw, you're driving me." He said, and I rolled my eyes as I walked to the car. I picked up Jaime and Tony, and when we got to school they all went to the school cafeteria to have breakfast. I had tried school breakfast once, and it was absolutely vile. They could go poison themselves, I am gonna stick to stuff that's actually, ya know, good for me. 'Like Kellin's mouth on my- fu.ck! I thought I had gotten that dream out of my head!' I thought to myself.

After they headed to the cafeteria, I waited about five minutes at my car before going to see Mr.Purdy. I wanted to answer some texts, and utilize the little bit of morning I had left. But soon enough I was going to Mr.Purdy's office. 

*******

"Agh, Vic!" Mr.Purdy moaned as he finished in my mouth. I swallowed it all, then went to the bathroom attached to his office and brushed my teeth. I didn't want cum breath my whole day. I walked back into the room, still a little red in the face. 

"Have I earned this week's A, Mr.Purdy?" I asked, nearing towards the door.  I rubbed my jaw subconsciously. What can I say, Mr.Purdy was fu.cking huge. He smirked when he saw that. 

"One more appointment, maybe Thursday, then you'll have earned this week's A. A blow job only gets half the grade, sex gets a grade for the whole week. I've told you this before. So, see you early... Thursday? Wednesday? Whenever is good for you." he didn't even look up from his desk where he was finishing grading papers. Ha, even teachers procrastinate!

I fake sighed. "Ok. Fine, so Wednesday is better than Thursday, I'll meet up with you Wednesday morning?"

"Sure," he said. Then he looked up from his papers and waved. "Bye Vic."

I opened the door and started walking out, "See ya teach!" but I didn't make it far out the door, because I ran right into someone who was about to open the door. We both fell on the floor, me landing on top of them. I had closed my eyes briefly while I fell, and when I saw who I fell onto I didn't get up. No, I just smirked.

It was Kellin. "Ugh, get off me you as.shole!" he shouted at me. He looked pretty mad, but I could also see fear deep in his eyes. Why was he afraid of me? Sure, I'm mean to him. But I've never hurt him physically, and I sure wasn't going to now. Was he just scared of the position?

I just roll my eyes. I grinded my hips into his a little, barely enough to see, but definitely enough to feel. "Why?," I whispered in his ear, "Scared, Quinn?" Maybe it was because of the dream I had, or maybe because he had an absolutely adorable expression on his face, or maybe because I had just finished giving a blow job, but I was kinda turned on. 

He yelped, but didn't push me off. In his eyes I saw his slight fear get replaced with... was that lust? Then, I slowly got off him, separating first just our chests, putting more pressure on our hips, then very slowly getting off him. He got up quickly after I got off him, and while he looked relieved, he also looked, I don't know, maybe... disappointed?

I gave him a two fingered salute/wave (just imagine danisnotonfire's little wave at the start of his videos), smirked, and said, "See ya later, fu.ckwad." I trailed my eyes up and down his body, very obviously so he could see. I wanted to mess with him. His mouth was wide open in shock, as were his eyes. 

Wanting to mess with him just a little further, I gently trailed my hand to his mouth, lightly brushed my thumb over his lips, and closed his mouth. I winked before I turned and walked off. I turned around once, slightly, and, yup. He was definitely checking out my ass. 

I walked with a little more sway in my step, just to taunt him. I rounded the corner, and was about to walk through the door to my first hour class, when I stopped, what I had just done settled in. 

What. The. Fu.ck.

Kellin's POV (sorry I keep skipping around)

What. The. Fu.ck.

I had just been going to see Mr.Purdy, I had a question about the homework. I did not expect to run into Vic. Sure, I knew he was at school, I saw his car in the parking spot next to mine, but I didn't know he was in there. He was strangely red in the face. I didn't have time to contemplate that for more than a second, because the next thing I knew, he was on top of me.

"Ugh, get off me you as.shole," I shouted at him. There was no one in the hall but us, and Mr.Purdy's door was closed, so no one heard. Usually, he would have gotten off me immediately in disgust, and we probably would have had a shouting match. But he didn't. And that scared me. I was completely under his power, and I have been in that position too many times with her, and I don't trust Vic. This all together made me very frightened, but I did my best to hide it. 

I was hoping Vic would get off soon, but instead he did the opposite. He rolled his eyes, and lowered himself so that we were pressed all the way together on the floor. The only bit of us that was not touching was our faces, and that space was tiny. It was suddenly hotter between and around us. "Why? Scared, Quinn?", he asked huskily, while ever so slightly grinding his hips on me. Thank the Lord I had on skinny jeans, and my growing boner was restrained. Why was this so hot?

I yelped, and would have pushed him off, but I was not thinking very clearly. Being so close to a hot guy I hate but used to have a crush on while he grinds on you? Yeah, you're gonna want to see where things go. I, of course, forgot we were in the hallway, that I hated him, and that things weren't going anywhere, he was obviously just messing with me. I suddenly wished very hard that he would just kiss me already, but at that moment he got off me.

He slowly, dragging it out separated our upper body, only making my boner more uncomfortable and larger as he practically ground his hips into mine again. Then he finally got up. I scrambled up as fast as I could. I didn't want to be in a situation of weakness anymore, and sense was flowing through my brain again.

You know what was also flowing through my brain? Shock. Why had Vic Fuentes, of all people, just done that? "See ya later, fu.ckwad," he said with a little wave. He looked like he was going to walk away, but then his eyes lit up with another idea.

He closed the distance between us again, and brushed his thumb over my lips, gently closing my mouth. Fu.ck. I didn't realize it was open. But it must have because of just how shocked I was. He winked, before finally leaving.

I didn't mean to, but I stared at his as.s when he walked away. I think he noticed, because he started putting a bit more sway in his hips while he walked, making the view ten times better. When he finally rounded the corner, I walked quickly to the nearest bathroom. I had a, er, problem to sort out. All thoughts of talking to Mr.Purdy were erased from my brain.

*******

Right after I finished with my problem, I started walking off to my first hour class, and just then the bell rung. 'Wow, great timing', I thought. I walked into the classroom, not even paying attention to the friend talking to me. I was to busy thinking about Vic.

What had just happened? Would music class be awkward now? Was he just messing around with me? Ugh. I sighed, and turned my attention to the lesson when the bell rung. Vic could wait. At least, until music class.


	4. Chapter 4

Kellin's POV

A week after the... incident with Vic, I was no longer awkward. That day in music I had been a little, but Vic had been back to his di.ckish self, and things were like the were supposed to be. Still, I had kept randomly looking at him, remembering those moments, and he'd catch me staring and fu.cking smirk. That infuriated me, so I easily went from confused to angry, like normal with him. 

When I was alone at night and couldn't sleep though, I would let my thoughts wander, and I'd go back to being confused. I didn't let my thoughts wander too far though; once I let them wander to some very inappropriate fantasies, and ended up actually jacking off to the thought of Vic. 

"V-vic!" I moaned deeply, and with that I came. After I cleaned up, what I had just done suddenly struck me. I had just touched myself, while thinking of Vic Fuentes, the guy I hate. I was so confused and embarrassed. Thank god that was a Friday night, and I didn't have to see him the next day. 

But that Monday in music class, all hell broke lose. I don't know if it was because he had confused me so much, or if it was because it was a Monday, or if it was because I was in a pi.ssy mood, or maybe a combination, but I snapped on Vic. 

He was saying his usual insults, nothing particularly special, when he said, "Aw, is Kelly gonna cry?", no, my fists were clenched in anger, not patheticness or sadness, idiot. "Which mommy you gonna go cry to?" my head snapped up. How did he know about my biological mother? How did he know my Mom wasn't my real mom? And how dare he try to use that against me!

I launched myself at him, knocking him down. "I fu.cking hate you so fu.cking much, you di.ck!" I screamed at him, hitting and punching every part of him I could reach. He didn't just let himself be hit though; he hit back and screamed at me too. This seemed to be the moment all our years of hating each other had led up to. The moment one of us finally snapped. 

That continued on for a few minutes, no one could separate us. It got to the point Mr. Iero stood up on his desk and shouted, "Victor Fuentes! Kellin Quinn! Stop right now unless you want to be expelled!" He was angry. I couldn't blame him, I would be to in his situation. 

The last thing I wanted to do was stop hitting Vic, I wanted him to feel as hurt as I did every time he said something even remotely rude to me. I wanted him to suffer. But I didn't want to be expelled. So I stopped, and so did he. He was really red in the face, and was panting, and I bet I was too.

"I want you two to sit outside the classroom, right now. Do not even look at each other," Mr. Iero directed us. I was ok with not looking at Vic, that was actually great with me. We both walked outside the door, and sat on either side of the hall, facing each other but avoiding eye contact, or even looking at the other.

After a minute or so, Mr. Iero came out and closed the door behind him. He sighed when he saw us. "Come over here," he said, standing next to my wall, a little far away from the door. We both did. He rolled his eyes at us, obviously still angry. "Now," he said in a deadly serious voice, "you two have detention till four this afternoon. You'll be working together, cleaning the boys locker rooms." He smirked cruelly at our grimacing faces. Then I remembered something.

"But, Mr. Iero! I have swim practice after school!" I protested. I couldn't miss practice, I was the captain! 

"And I have soccer practice!" Vic said. "And I'm the captain! I can not miss a practice, I already don't have very good grades!" Ha, Vic is stupid, I thought. I didn't even feel bad, I was so, so, so very mad at him.

"You two should have thought about that before you decided to get in a fight. Oh," Mr. Iero was radiating sass and anger, "I'm calling both your parents." I groaned audibly. Fu.ck. My parents hate violence of any kind, and here I was starting a fight. When I got home it would be hell.

*******(time lapse to end of the day, at the detention)*******

I stopped by Mr. Iero's room at the end of the day, and vic was already there. As soon as I saw him again, my anger was rekindled. It took all I had not to launch must at him again, especially when he turned, saw me, and smirked.

I wanted to fu.cking kill him. "Well hello there, prissy," he said. "I was almost thinkin you weren't gonna show." I just flipped him off and walked over to him and Mr. Iero.

"Oh, good. You didn't forget," Mr. Iero said. "You will be serving this detention for three days. I told the janitors not to worry about the boy's locker room, you guys were cleaning it. And that's what you'll be doing for three days. You can get supplies in the janitors closet, and any housing around will give you more detention." Mr. Iero said all this still with an aura of sass and pis.sed-offness.

We just hung our heads and got to work. Everything was more or less normal for the first two days of our detentions, but on the third day something happened. We had almost finished cleaning, which was relieving as we had no more detentions after that day. I was just finishing up sweeping when Vic surprised me with a question.

"Why did you react so much to what I said?" he asked. My head snapped up, and I could feel myself getting mad again. "I mean," he continued, "I've said much worse before." He bit his lip, thinking. He looked so sexy, but I was still mad. "Does... Does it have something to do with your first mom? The one you used to live with?" That question put me in shock.

"How- how the fu.ck do you even know about my biological mother?" I spat out. "And since you apparently know, why would you even bring that up, you sick fu.ck?" I glared at him, but he just looked at me in confusion.

"Know about what?" he asked. I growled. Fu.ck. He probably just knew I didn't live with her anymore, not any of the stuff that went on in that house.

"Nothing. Even if it was something, you'd be to stupid to understand," I twisted the conversation back to him. He seemed very offended. Yes! He took a step closer. 

"My intelligence has nothing to do with this, you bas.tard!" He yelled at me. I smirked and took another step toward him.

"Oh, well of course you'd be to stupid to understand what even could have happened. You're just a fu.cking idiot, I bet a plankton has more brains than you. Is that why your mommy left?" I snarled. I knew I was being mean, but how dare he bring up my biological mother. "She didn't want a retarded son?"

He clenched his jaw. "At least I'm brave enough to talk about my mom, you fu.cking coward!" Oh no. That was below the line. I stepped closer to him again and he did the same. I swear I was steaming from how angry I was at him, and he looked like he was about to explode.

"You di.ck!" I screamed at him. "Go die in a motherfu.cking hole!" He seemed even more enraged by this. He opened his mouth to make a snappy comeback, but I couldn't let him do that. So I pounced on him. Just not the way I thought I would.

I furiously kissed him, rough and rude. I was still mad at him, and this was the only way to get him to just shut up already. I hated him with every fiber of my being, and I took it all out on him with that kiss.

He seemed a bit surprised, because he didn't respond to the kiss at first, but then when he did, he slammed me against the lockers of he boys dressing room. His mouth opened, and he forced his tongue inside my mouth. My anger was still there, but it was also doubling as lust.

He used his strong arms, and lifted me up, still pressed against the lockers, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. His hands groped my as.s, like it belonged to him, and I put my hands in his hair. I could feel his growing erection, and I was matching him with mine. I pulled on his hair, and bit down on his lip, and he fu.cking moaned, in turn kissing me doubly hard. I gasped into his mouth when he squeezed my as.s again.

He removed his lips from mine for the seconds he needed to remove our shirts. He pushed me against the lockers harder, and while the lockers were cold behind me, his bare chest touching mine was enough warmth not to care, and his lips practically attacked mine. This felt so wrong, but it was too right to stop.

He separated his lips from mine, and moved his lips to my neck, sucking and biting. I whimpered, my neck was one of my spots that got me turned on really fast. He found my sweet spot, and I moaned again, loud. Then he bit down on it, hard. I gasped for air and shouted his name. "Vic!"

He chuckled. "Vocal, aren't you?" I couldn't think straight. My thoughts were only focused on one thing, Vic. I didn't care I hated him, or that doing this with him was very against who I was. I was completely and utterly out of control.

I unwrapped my legs from around him, and pushed him against the lockers, not gently either. He looked like he was about to protest, but then he realized what I was doing. I lowered myself slowly to his crotch, making my eyes as wide and innocent as I could, as I knew that was a turn on for a lot of people.

I slowly unzipped his pants and pulled them down with his boxers. 'Holy fu.ck, he's huge!" I thought.

He smirked. "I know. " I looked up at his face, surprised. "You said that out loud," he explained. Fu.ck. Oops. I wanted to wipe that stupid smirk off his face, so I take his di.ck in my hands and start stroking it. I smile as his smirk vanishes. His eyes are full of lust.

He starts getting bigger in my hand, so I decide it's time to take him in my mouth. I don't go slow, just fast and rough, taking him all in my mouth and deep throating him. He moaned my name so loud, "Ugh, Kells, fu.ck! Don't stop, please, oh god," he said. "Fu.ck, yes, suck it you wh.ore," he kept muttering and moaning and when I could tell he was about to come, I pulled off him completely.

"What are you doing?!" he said, sounding frustrated in more ways than one. I gave him my best seductive look. 

"Beg for it." I said with malice in my voice. His eyes got wide. Ha, so he didn't expect that from sweet, innocent Kellin. Well, as innocent as you can be sucking someone off, I guess. "Beg for it, or I swear I will stop right now." I threatened.

His eyes got a defeated look. A defeated horny look. "Fine then. Please, Kells, fu.ck I need your mouth right now," his voice got higher and he closed his eyes, as if imagining me continuing to suck him off. His hands started drifting to his co.ck, but I slapped them away.

"No touching yourself," I snapped at him. He moved his hands to my hair instead, tangling them in the black locks. His eyes were still closed, and he had a desperate look on his face. "Continue," I said. He groaned.

"Ugh, fu.ck Kellin, I'm so close, I need it so bad, I know you want to, just please Kells, please don't leave me like this, fu.ck..." I figured that was enough for now, so I leaned forward and took all his coc.k in my mouth again, sucking hard. "Kell-Kellin!" he moaned the loudest yet. After just a few moments, he came hard and fast down my throat. He chuckled at me. "Yeah, swallow it all, you slu.t."

I smirked, and went up to kiss him. He responded, but didn't open his mouth. "Taste yourself," I murmured against his lips. His eyes opened wide in shock, but he was still fuzzy after coming down from his high, and so was I, I liked giving bj's as much as others liked receiving them. He opened his mouth, finally. 

We kissed for a little while longer, just as rough as before. Suddenly, though, Vic pushed me away. "Kellin," he said, sounding shocked and slightly scared. "What just happened? Oh god, what did we just do?" He put his hand on his head, "Oh fu.ck!"

I realized what had just happened too. Had I really...did we just...did I just suck off Vic Fuentes?! Oh no, this was awful. I had just given the guy I hate most a blow job!! "This," I said, pointing between us, "meant nothing. Nothing. Got it?"

He nodded, " I still hate you, prissy. " he said, only sounding sorta unsure. I didn't respond, I just walked off. I was so confused. Things had just been getting back to normal, and I had to go and suck him off? What was wrong with me?

The worst part of the entire situation dawned on me right before I fell asleep that night. I didn't regret it, not one bit.

Vic's POV(this is in the morning of Wednesday btw)

I gave Mr.Purdy another bj before school. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, except of course, the glares me and Kellin shared in music. Then after school I went to my last detention. Kellin and I ignored each other till the end of detention, when I asked him something that had been on my mind since I first said it.

"Why did you react so much to what I said? I mean, I've said much worse before," I had been thinking about this a lot, actually. "Does... Does it have something to do with your first mom? The one you used to live with?" His expression changed very fast. I was just asking a question, but he was already really mad. What did I do?

"How- how the fu.ck do you even know about my biological mother?" he asked, and wow he was angry as fu.ck. Maybe bringing this up was a bad idea... "And since you apparently know, why would you even bring that up, you sick fu.ck?!" He yelled. Wait, what did I know? What was he talking about?

"Know about what?" I said, trying to keep my voice even and calming. I didn't really mean or want to start a fight, I just wanted to know. He ruined all those god intentions with his next words, however.

"Nothing. Even if it was something, you'd be to stupid to understand," he snarled at me. Ok, insulting me about anything but my family and my intelligence is ok ish. I mean, I don't enjoy it, but I don't get really that angry about it. Just irked. But my intelligence has always been a sore subject for me.

In fifth grade, I was placed on the lower level learning classes instead of advanced classes. I was ok with it, but my parents weren't. They had me switched to the other classes, even though they had been told I would do poorly in them. Which I did. All the smart kids tormented me about it, and I felt stupid all the time. I wasn't stupid, just not advanced. But even in high school, the smart kids treat me like I was... lower than them. I was sick of being treated differently because of my intelligence. I'm just a person, ok?

"My intelligence had nothing to with this, you bas.tard!" I yell at him, taking a step closer to him. How dare he? 

"Oh, well of course you'd be to stupid to understand what even could have happened. You're just a fu.cking idiot. Is that why your mommy left?" he taunted. I couldn't believe him, he was bringing this to the next level. And to bring up my mom? How does he even know she left? "She didn't want a retarded son?

I knew I needed a comeback, and he seemed mad when I bought up his mom, so I used that. "At least I'm brave enough to talk about my mom, you fu.cking coward!" I yelled at him. It had the intended effect, and his face twisted up with rage.

"You di.ck! Go die in a Motherfu.cking hole!" He yelled back. Well that was weak, but infant be weaker and not have a comeback, so I opened my mouth, not really knowing what would come out. I never had the chance to say anything, though, as Kellin launched himself at me and kissed me.

I was a bit surprised at first, until I realized this was basically fighting, so I took the upper hand. I would not let him be dominating, so I slammed him, hard, onto the lockers. 'Its just fighting, it's only fighting', I told myself, but those thoughts were fading away as they were replaced with lust.

I never expected a blow job. But that's what happened. And hours later, I came to a conclusion. Kellin Quinn was a complete and utter di.ck, but in no universe would I ever take back what happened with us. And he had a pretty good mouth, maybe if I was lucky, I'd be able to experience it again.


	5. Chapter 5

Kellin's POV

A month of silence passed between Vic and I. Matty questioned me about it many times, he knew I hated Vic, but he wanted to know what happened between us. Because we weren't even fighting, just ... avoiding each other. Even before the big, public fight, we would insult each other all the time. Now we were not even looking at each other.

I was in a big conflict with myself. Why didn't I regret it? I hated him, I should! But I couldn't bring myself to. After a while, even Mr. Iero noticed. He tried talking to me after music class. He had talked to Vic the day before, and had talked to him out in the hall during free time in class, but he came back in with Vic looking defeated.

"Hey Kellin, can I talk to you after class?" He asked. I just nodded, head down, and then continued to work with Matty on our project. We already turned in the composition project, but this was a new one concerning music theory. To be quite honest, it was a pain in the as.s. 

I walked up to Mr. Iero's desk suddenly. I really didn't want to talk to him about whatever happened with Vic and I. But he asked about it anyway. "So, Mr. Quinn, care to tell me about the sudden change in attitude and behavior of you and Vic?" I look down. 

How do I avoid this? I can't just tell my teacher that I blew him in detention and now we're awkward. "I don't know, maybe we just fought all our differences out in here that day, and now we don't care about each other," I try to say evenly. 

Mr. Iero didn't seem to believe me. "Are you sure nothing might have... happened between you two?" I felt my throat tighten up. Could he know? But how?

My voice comes out almost strangled sounding. "Pretty sure, Mr. Iero. Why?"

He sighed. "Ok, I didn't want to mention this... but you know we have security cameras, right?" I felt my throat dry considerably more than it already had.

"Oh, really?" I then remembered exactly what had transpired between us "You didn't watch, did you?" I asked him nervously. 

He laughed dryly, then slapped my shoulder lightly. "I'm not a creep, Kellin! I deleted the footage as soon as I saw you kiss him. Don't worry about it." I sighed in relief.

"Oh thank god," I said. He laughed at me again. There was a slightly awkward silence, before he tried again.

"So... I know you kissed him. Why didn't you two walk into my room the next day holding hands or some sh- stuff, instead of acting like the other doesn't exist?" I looked up at him and sighed again, this time in defeat.

"Honestly? I, he, we, pushed each other away. It wasn't supposed to happen. He would never want anything like that with me anyway..." my shoulders slumped. I didn't seem to get realize what I said, though.

"Kellin, would you want to start something with him?" He asked me. I squint my eyes in confusion, about to protest, but then I realize what I said, and it's meaning. 

"I- I don't know, maybe? I hate him, you know. But still, there's always been something about him. I don't want to want him." Mr. Iero nods.

"I understand. Try not to give up yet, though. Believe it or not, my husband and I-"

"Frank?" I interrupt.

He smiles. "Yes, him. Well, we hated each other for years, actually. One day I accidentally asked him out instead of saying 'I hate you,' and instead of saying 'go f yourself,' he said yes." He got a dreamy expression on his face. "Sure, it wasn't easy. But some love, it's worth fighting for..."

I laugh. "Love? I think you're taking this a bit too far. I mean, I hardly know him, much less like him, even more much less love him." 

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Exactly. You barely know him. I think you should try to, before you pass your judgement. Maybe he'll learn something about you too. You aren't as different as you two seem to think."

I nod in agreement, and start to walk off when students for Mr. Iero's next hour start walking into the room. "Thanks, sir!" I yelled as I started running down the hall. It was kinda cool talking to Mr. Iero, but I couldn't be late for my next class.

I heard him yell after me, "Anytime, Kellin!" I got to my next class with a smile on my face. That talk really helped, now I knew what I wanted.

And that was Vic.

*******

Vic's POV

I heard Mr. Iero ask Kellin to talk to him after class, and my heart sank. I has been hoping Gerard would just leave it alone, but of course he had to meddle. Why can't he just accept that I have my own problems, instead of just sassing me and saying that I do need his help?

I had been wishing I never told him. See, the day he called me out into the hall, I promised I would tell him what happened after school. It was after he told me he knew Kellin kissed me and he assured he watched hardly any of it and deleted the recording. I did tell him about it, and ever since then he pressured me to come clean with Kellin. Sadly, I couldn't. 

I has been convinced the night he had blown me that I could and would be confident the next time I saw him, confront him about it, but my mouth went dry and mind empty and all I did was turn away to hide my growing blush. 

I knew I should just go up to him and kiss him, show him how I felt in the way my words couldn't express, but my limbs turned to stone every time I even considered it. It was like all the feeling I'd buried since 5th grade for me were resurfacing. 

I had asked Gerard to not talk to Kellin about it. If any words were going to be said about the matter, I wanted them to be mine. He talked to him after class anyway. I just tried to tune out the rest of the school day till soccer practice.

As the captain, I had lots of new responsibilities. On top of that and schoolwork, I was practically cracking up with stress. I'm not very smart, and school was just getting harder. I couldn't handle a almost-maybe-ish thing with Kellin too. At least I had Me. Purdy.

Speaking of Mr. Purdy, I had an appointment with him after soccer. We were going to have se.x, but he told me I was too sweaty and gross. So instead I gave him a blow.job. That caused me to get home late, and Mike kept questioning me about why I took longer than Tony, who was also on the soccer team.

When I finally shook him off to do homework in my room, I heard him and Tony making a lot of noise. "Stop making out, you're too loud!" I yell from my room. They quiet down instantly, and I chuckled at them. They were both so straight that at any mention of them doing something even remotely gay they got deadly serious.

I found myself missing my parents a lot that night. Why were that always gone? Why couldn't Mom accept me for what I was? I wished I had someone to talk to. But Mike and I weren't that close and I hadn't had a boyfriend or girlfriend in a long time, simply because of commitment issues. Maybe I had just never found someone I was willing to commit to.

I fell asleep that night with Kellin on my mind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, if you were curious about the who SHE is, here it is revealed!!!

Vic's POV

Today was a bad day. One of the worst I've had in awhile. It's been a week since Mr. Iero called Kellin out to the hall. In the last week I managed to insult him a little bit, and he returned the favor. Things were getting back to normal, finally, and everything was more or less looking up. 

Then, of course, today everything had to go to he.ll. 

It started from the moment I woke up. Mike shook me awake, saying we were already almost thirty minutes late to school. I barely had any time to get ready, causing me to look looke sh.it when I got to school. 

When I got to school. Did I forget to mention my car broke down half way to school? Mike had chosen to skip today, but I couldn't because I'm soccer captain, and I've gotta be there. I had to walk the rest of he way to school, and halfway there, out of no where, it started pouring. Like, buckets of rain. I was soaked in mere seconds. 

They made me sit in the principal's office for the entirety of the rest of first hour and second hour. They thought they were being nice by letting me dry off. Finally, they remembered the nurse has spare clothes in case things like this happen. I practically left puddles on the hallway floor. 

Oh, and the crowds in the hallways parted like fu.cking Moses or Noah or whoever the fu.ck. Like I was a disease.

And Kellin Quinn, with his stupid fu.cking mouth, just had to say, "Wow, Fuentes. Really out did yourself today." It wasn't even clever, but people laughed. So I retaliated.

"And even in the state I am you still manage to be way more fu.cking ugly, you really outdid yourself, Bostwick." I said. He had no response, and kids in the crowd went from ooohing at his joke to me to ooohing at my insult to him. 

The thing is, he looked really, really hurt. I also heard kids whispering about the whole Bostwick thing. Truth be told, I just know that was his old last name.

As I walked away, I heard him shout after me, "It's Quinn, you fu.cktard!" And once again, people were laughing at me.

At the nurse's office, she kept making little remarks under her breath about stupid teenagers, and just negative little quips about me in general. And the clothes? They were all fugly. None were my size, and there weren't shoes I could borrow. That meant I would make puddles everywhere I walked.

Kellin insulted me every time he saw me for the rest of the day. Thankfully, he's not in many of my classes. Things started looking up in music, when Mr. Iero had a change of clothes for me. I felt like an idiot for not remembering he did that for me. 

Also, these clothes made me look hot. So I got to see Quinn fu.cking gape, and I could practically feel him lusting over me. I was feeling pretty smug. 

Then, I found out soccer practice was cancelled in the last hour of the day. Something about the fields being too wet and soggy and muddy to use. I cursed, and loud. I had only come to school, which is already a mini hel.l, because of the stupid practice. Now it was cancelled? Ugh.

Sadly, the teacher of my last hour heard me curse. It isn't really that surprising, as I was pretty loud, but still. Fu.ck. So, she gave me detention. I had to stay after school doing hard manual labor, when I had already had a he.ll day.

When I got home, Dad was there. He was only there for a few minutes, and we exchanged a few words.

Dad: You need to get your grades up. I got an email from a teacher.

Me: Okay.

Dad: *leaves for I don't know how long*

Me: Bye?

Dad: *Doesn't respond*

That was pretty much how it went. Mike gave me looks of sympathy, which made me feel worse. I locked myself in my room with my homework, because of course I have tons. I feel like sh.it.

For the first time in a while, I look down at the scars on my wrist and want to put more there. It makes me glad I threw away my blades a long time ago. I know I'm not going to do it, but the temptation is still there.

Whatever. 

Kellin's POV

I get out of the pool after school with my muscles aching. I just did a 500 of butterfly, a 500 of freestyle, a 500 of backstroke, and a 500 of breaststroke. (In swimming, a 25 is one length of the pool. You do the math) Not to mention the actual practice. The practice is right after school lasting tell 4:00 pm, and I stay after till 5:00 doing extra practice. 

A lot of people call me crazy for practicing this much, but I really love swimming. I already have tons of offers from colleges because of how good I am at it. I keep getting first place at my meets, and it shows. Strangely, I still look a life scrawny even though I've been swimming since was a toddler and have lots of muscles.

I head to the locker room, and take a quick shower. If I don't, the chlorine from the pool will dry out my skin and then it hurts. I wrap a towel around myself and dry myself before getting dressed. I shake my hair mostly dry, and grab my stuff then leave.

I'm feeling happy when I drive home from school. It's beautiful outside, the rain from earlier is reflecting light and making the air smell fresh. Also, today was a good day for investing Fuentes. He was really stupid today, and it felt good to be rude to him. It looks like things are finally getting back to normal.

Even though I won't deny to myself that I do have a tiny crush on him, I also hate his guts. I want to kill him and kiss him at the same time. I start humming a tune to a song I can't place the title right now. I laugh a little when I realize that it's my song, Matty and mine anyways.

All the happiness is drained out of me when I see a car parked outside my house. It's hers. My blood goes cold.

What is she doing here?! I thought Mom said she told her to stay away! I'm getting so panicked. Just seeing the car alone brings back awful memories. I try to shut them out, but they flood me like a tsunami.

*Flashback*

"Kellin Bostwick! Come here right now, you piece of sh.it!" Mother yells. I wipe away the tear tracks on my face. If she sees I was crying she'll hit me. I walk out to the kitchen with my head down. "Look at me!" She demands.

I look up. She grabs my chin and sneers. "You can't do that anymore, Kellin. If you have a customer you have to satisfy them! We need money for the rent!" I feel tears well up in my eyes. I don't want those friends of my mother's to have fun with me again. I'm just a kid, only 10! 

The friends always take off my clothes. Sometimes there will be one but there's unduly several. I try to push them off, infant want that! But they just laugh and push me down. So, today I bit their hand. They left, but now mother is mad.

She sees the tears and slaps me, hard. "Stop crying! Boys can't be weak, you aren't a fa.ggot, are you?!" She keeps hitting me, which just makes the tears come more. Why won't she stop? I just want it to stop. Please.

*End of flashback*

I shake myself out of the memory. No, that was a long time ago. I'm going to go in there, and I'll make her go. I'm strong now, I'm going to take care of myself. I'll never let her hurt me again. 

I walk into my house confidently. There, she is trying to negotiate with Mom. "I know he doesn't want to see me, but I need to see him! I am his mother after all, I am allowed to see my son!"

"No!" Mom yells. "He isn't your son anymore! A mother doesn't r.ape their son! Doesn't sell their body to pay for rent, then spend it on drugs! A mother doesn't beat her child! So no, he is not your son! And you are not allowed to see him! You lost that right a long time ago!"

Mother starts to argue, but I walk up behind her and place a hand on her shoulder. "Leave." I say. She turns around and her face lights up. 

"Kellin! I need to talk to you!" She exclaims.

"You can't say sorry enough, Mother. It will never be enough. Not with what you did." I state calmly. She used to scare me, but not anymore. Now I can't see the oppressor, just a broken women. Her brown hair is dull, and it matches her eyes. She's short and frail and weak.

"It's not about that, Kellin." She says. Her voice is the same, haughty and commanding and rude. "It's about your father." My breath catches.

"What about him?" I ask, my voice wavering.

"He's alive."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to find out more about Kellin's past and his family. Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> Btw this entire thing is a flashback.

     "Daddy!" The little boy, only three years old, called out to his father. He had just come from work at the air force barracks near by. The little boy's mother was cooking dinner in the kitchen. Spaghetti. She stepped out of the kitchen to see her son jump on her husband, and she smiled. They ate together the child getting food all over his face and high chair. Even though it was a mess, it was beautiful and family. Everything was perfect.

     One year later, the boy's birthday passed just a little while ago. He's now running around all the time with day care friends. Funny, be doesn't even remember their names so he just calls them you. His friends distract him so much, he doesn't hardly notice that his dad has been sleeping on the sofa for over two months now. 

     Another year, and his mother is hardly ever home, spending most of her time with her friends, high off her mind in a club. Most of the times, she forgets she even has a son. The father is too depressed to really take care of his son. He misses his wife, and wants to take back all their arguments. He loves her, but she doesn't love him anymore.

     After another year passes, the father has enough. He signs up to be deployed as soon as possible. He is strongly Catholic, and doesn't believe in divorce, but that doesn't mean he has to stay at the house that just hurts him. The son? He cries in his room. Why are mommy and daddy never home? He misses them. Whatever happened?

     Six months later, and the father is deployed in Afghanistan. He sends letters to his son and wife frequently. The wife realizes how much she loves him while he's gone, and starts acting like a mother again. Temporarily her friends are forgotten, and her son is cared for. 

     Until only six more months, and a man shows up on their door. The father was captured. He didn't make it out. The mother cries and cries. She tries to hide what happened from her first grade son. She still wants to protect him. But he's smart, and figures out what happened after he asks why the letter hasn't come from his father in months and his mom just cries.

       It's hard to come up with the money needed to pay for the house. The wife figures that out quickly. She tries finding work, but jobs are hard to come by. She does something she swore she'd never do again. She calls her friends. 

     The give her the money she needs, but take several things. They seem to want more and more as the months go by. After a year, they've taken several things. They took the mother's dignity, her sanity, her prescription pills, her value China, most of the house, and the mother's jewelry. But there was something else they wanted too, more than the others. Because these 'friends' were sick and cruel.

     They wanted the son's virginity. And the mother, for the first time in the year, tries to fight her friends. But the mother always was a pushover, this time quite literally. The friends took what they wanted. They wanted the mother to join in after a while. They wanted the mother to hit the son when he bit them.

     After a while, when the child was 9, she didn't need her friends or the pills encouragement anymore. She hit her son, r.aped him, starved him, and forced him to hide it. The friends, when the boy was 10, faded from the picture. All the pain that was caused to the poor boy rested on her shoulders.

     The boy was miserable. In a tv show he saw his mom watch, a lady commit suicide. He needed escape, so he started making a plan to kill himself. He attempted the suicide at his school, by putting a knife to one of his wrists and slashing deep. It was in the school bathroom, and a child found him and soon an ambulance came. 

     The boy was saved. When the mother was questioned, she pretended she had no idea why the boy would do such a thing. After all, she always treated him well, at least that's what she said. However, when the boy was well, he told the officials everything. 

     The mother was arrested. The boy was placed with a new family not far away. He went to counseling all up through middle school and two years of high school. He would sometimes have dreams, or a certain object would cause him to have a flashback.

     When the boy was a junior, the mom went back to her home to find her friends there. The mom made them leave. She didn't want to have anything to do with them any more, in prison she realized her errors. She repented heavily. She got some stable job, and fixed up her house. But there was something missing.

      She wanted her son. After all, he was her flesh and blood! What did that other family think they were doing, keeping her away from him? After all, she would never do the things she did before. She was a changed woman. 

      She tried contacting him. She found out his phone number and called him. He never answered, but she left a voicemail. When he listened to it, he blocked the number and tried to block the flashbacks. But he needed counseling for a month to stop the nightmares. 

     The new mother of the boy told the old mother to stay away. She only hurt him. The mother accepted it, even though she hated it. She really just wanted to take back all those years, go back to when everything was okay and he was a giggling toddler.

     But the old mother stayed away. She didn't try to contact him, she really didn't want to hurt her son ever again. But she knew she had to talk to him when she received ground-breaking news.

     The father was alive.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, here you go! I hope you guys feel lucky, cuz I usually, with this story at least, update here days before I update on Wattpad. I don't know why. Anyways, enjoy!

Vic's POV

     Kellin didn't show up to school today. I know I was kind of rude to him yesterday, but he insulted me first! Also, it's our thing to be rude to each other, and who says it's my fault he's not at school today? But what if it is? Should I be thinking about him this much? 

     Fu.ck that, actually, I just want to know if he's okay. It's sixth hour, and Matty is in this class with me. He should be able to tell me why Kellin isn't here. Not that I care a ton or anything. It's just... Whatever. I'm just curious, that's it. Nothing more, maybe a little bit less. Yup.

     I start to walk up to Matty, but then Ger- Mr. Iero catches my eye and motions for me to sit down. "Okay kids, I'd like your attention." He says. The class quiets, more or less, and I notice a boy I don't recognize in the front of the classroom.

     "This is Oliver Sykes." Mr. Iero says, "and I don't know if you want to, but you can say a bit about yourself. You don't have to." It's nice how Mr. Iero does that, I know lots of kids are really shy.

     The boy, Oliver, opens his mouth to respond, but gets cut off by the door to the classroom opening. Kellin walks in calmly, and hands a pass to Mr. Iero. He starts to walk to his seat, but then he backtracked. He stands in front of Oliver.

      "Oli?" He whisper asks. Oliver, Oli, I don't know, his eyes widen. What, do they have a past?

     "Oh my god," Oliver says in a British accent. "Kellin?" 

      Kellin's eyes brighten, and he engulfs this 'Oliver' in a hug. Oliver hugs back, and I feel a strange feeling flame within me. Is that... jealousy? No. No, I am not jealous. Why would I be? I hate Kellin. Yep, totally.

     Mr. Iero looks confused, like everyone else including me. "Do... you two... know each other?" He asks. Kellin and Oli separate and laugh. 

     "Know each other? Oli was my best friend once... a long time ago. It's good to see you, man." Kellin says. Then he moves and sits down next to Matty, in his usual seat.  Oli smiles, and speaks more in his British accent.

      "You too, Kells. Anyway, I'm Oli, I have an accent, I'm actually pretty cool sometimes maybe. That's it." Oli finished his little speech and sat next to Kellin. Mr. Iero raised an eyebrow, but continued teaching.

     The entire hour I see Oli and Kellin obviously talking. Like, they don't even try to hide it from Mr. Iero! Does he care? I think he should. And no, I'm not jealous! I guess I just have a better sense of right and wrong.

     "Cool it, dude," Jaime taps my shoulder, and I snap out of the stone I was in. "You're going to glare a hole into the back of Kellin's head. What's your deal, man? He asks. I just shrug. I can't tell Jaime without him thinking I have a crush or something stupid like that.

     He rolls his eyes at me, but forgets it. Good, it would be annoying to have him on my case more. I try to avoid looking at Kellin or Oli or Matty. I don't want to be obvious. Not like there's anything to be obvious about. Nope, nothing at all.

     I still wonder why Kellin was gone all today. I only know he was because I would've seen him in the halls if he was at school, and I didn't. Is he okay? Whatever if he is or not. I so don't care. I'm over that.

      In the five minute free period Mr. Iero gives us before he bell rings, Oli introduces himself to pretty much everyone. I'm kind of jealous of him in general, with nothing to do with Kellin. He's smart, confident, good looking, and musically talented. Also, judging by the way Kellin's gaze rests on him, Kellin has quite the crush.

     At that thought I feel the now almost familiar pang of pain and envy. I hate it. I hate the fact it's becoming familiar. I hate that it exists in the first place. Why does it even exist?

     "Hi, I'm Oli," he says to me, putting out his hand to shake. I laugh and shake it, attempting to cover up my awkwardness. He's new and it's not his fault.

     "I know. I'm Vic Fuentes." I respond. He smiles and laughs with me. Then he unexpectedly frowns. What? How could I have done something wrong?

     "Did you do that?" He whispers, pointing at my wrists. I look down, and oh fu.ck. my bracelets fell down in a weird position that some of my stupid scars were visible. Of course, the awesome new kid has to think yours unstable before he even knows you. Great job, Vic.

     I awkwardly clear my throat, look around to see if anyone is looking or paying attention to our conversation (no one is), and nod. "He, yeah. Um, it was a long time ago, like I haven't in years. Sorry." I try to assure him.

     He smiles again. "Oh, don't apologize. It's okay, trust me I've been there. I'm just happy you're better now. You seem pretty cool, Vic. I'll be seeing you around." He says the last two sentences looking at the clock behind my head.

     I turn around to see that the bell should be ringing right now. "Oh, yeah, we have a sh.itty black, Oli." Kellin. Says, walking up to us. He slings his arm around Oli's shoulders. Oli leans in just enough to make me wonder how close they are exactly. "Sometimes they ring three minutes off time. Don't worry about it."

     "Oh, alright mate." He responds. Just then, the bell rings. 

     "See ya later, Oli." I say, leaving.  

     "See ya Vic!" He replies. 

     Seventh hour is boring as fu.ck, and then there's soccer practice. I almost forgot I had it, and I'm really tired and don't want to do practice right now, but I don't have a choice, not really. 

      Practice seems to be extra long, even though it's the same length as all the others. I'm exhausted by the end, and Mr. Purdy wants to meet up today. I know I'm just going to be giving him a bj, but I'm really starting to get tired of this deal. 

      I have to keep it up though. I need to get to college. Who knows if Dad will pay for me? No, I need to be able to support myself in case no one else cares about supporting me. I am strong.

*******

     I'm in a bad mood after my appointment with Mr. Purdy, so I decide I'll mess with Kellin. That always, well sometimes, cheers me up. I know swim practice ended a while ago, it ends the same time as soccer practice. But I also know Kellin has extra practice.

      I walk down to the pool with a smirk on my face. I need to make sure he doesn't see me if this is going to work. When I peek in the room, he just finished a lap and is doing his flip turn. 

     When the turn is finished I rush out to the area behind him, and I take the pool noodles from nearby and thrown them into the pool. I spread them out behind him as he progresses. When he turns around again, he starts to swim.

     When the noodles become to much in number for him to swim, he stands on the pool bottom, and looks right at me. He flips his hair out of his face, then says, "Really?" I just laugh. His expression is hilarious! 

     I start to walk away, and don't notice someone behind me until it's too late. I'm pushed into the pool, soccer uniform and all. The cold water hits me like a thousand tiny knives made of ice. I hear laughing when I surface. Kellin is standing triumphantly outside the pool, hands on his hips. 

     My throat goes dry. Kellin doesn't seem to notice, but I'm staring at his exposed body. Fu.ck. He has toned muscles and water dropping down him. The hard lines of his body I never noticed before are very prominent now, and it's hot as he.ll.

     He notices my staring, and instead of getting awkward, just jumps in next to me. He got water in my eyes, the little as.shole! When he surfaces I give him little time to breath before dunking him once. 

     He splashes me, and I splash back. We engage in a water war, and I don't seem to notice how close were getting, splashing and actually smiling, until his face is close and I can clearly see the water droplets on his face and the brightness in his eyes. He's beautiful.

      Kellin stops splashing, and so do I. We seem to be in a trance, staring at each other and getting just a little bit closer. I look at his lips, and they seem to enticing. With no words spoken, it's like he's beckoning me closer.

      Our lips connect. Not in the same way as the locker room. No tongue is even involved, and the furthest my hands go is his hair. His arms sling around my neck. No, this isn't the furious kiss, this is... sweet. 

     His lips move against mine, and I feel like crying. Why? Because I'm perfectly in control, unlike in the locker room when rage and lust clouded my vision. But Kellin? He's probably just caught up in the moment. While, yeah, I'm a victim of this moment too, I also am conscious that I really want this. A lot. 

     He separates his lips from mine, and looks into my eyes as if searching for something. I state back, holding my breath slightly. Everything that happens right now is in his control. Please, please, please don't regret it.

     His head droops. "We have to stop doing this, Vic." He says. I think I just died. What he said hits me like a ton of bricks, and I can hardly stay upright. 

     "Why?" I demand. His head perks up in curiosity. I'm a bit curious myself, what do I want a relationship with this punk? Oh, who am I kidding, of course I do. I have since before fifth grade.

     "Why do you care?" He asks cautiously. His eyebrows furrow up in a cute way when he's kinda confused. He's actually just cute in general. Why was I so stupid to make him hate me, or blame him for my problems? Idiot.

      "Because..." I start, and I try to find a way to word this. "Because we keep ending up like this for a reason." He now doesn't look as confused, just a little apprehensive.

     "Ending up like what?" he says. I roll my eyes.

     "Don't play dumb. The last two times we've been alone together, we ended up making out. What if it's for a reason." He scoffs.

      "What? Destiny? That's a load of cra.p, and you know it." He says. I shake my head. I do know. Destiny is a idea created by the dreamers of the world, hopeful that things happen for a big, important, logical, predefined reason.

      "Not Destiny or fate or something cliche like that. But... I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't keep pushing each other way." I put that out there along with my heart. If he rejects me now, I'll be crushed. Seriously, why do I have to be so vulnerable around him?

      He opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again. "This- it's so weird. I just- what the fu.ck?"

     I move closer to him in the water, and grab his hands. "Look, I'm not saying I love you. I'm not saying I want to go out with you. He.ll, I'm not even saying do anything public with me." I look into his eyes. "But I do want to try something with you. If you don't, my heart won't be broken. But I still think we should give... us a chance."

     His face is full of shock, but then it transforms into something unfamiliar. "I can't have a relationship right now, and I'm also not willing to be... public. But I think... there is something between us. I think I'm willing to give it a chance."

      I grin, and lean forward to capture his lips with mine. This kiss isn't sweet like the last one, but it isn't angry. It's... hesitant, slow. Taking things in. It lacks the fire to go further, but not the feeling to continue.

      After a while I pull back, and he has a smile on his face. "Yup, I'm definitely willing to give us a chance."

*******

Kellin's POV

     Oh. My. Fu.cking. God. This is too much. I swear, I'm a second from breaking down, it's taking all I have to not crash my car, I'm so tired. I got barely any sleep last night, and the little I got was so bad quality, I just might have been better off without it. 

     My father is alive.

     I have some memories of him, but not many. Mostly it's because in my counseling sessions we worked on blocking out memories. I've blocked so many memories from the first ten years of my life, they might not even exist anymore.

     And then, my alarm didn't go off, and my parents didn't think to wake me up. I slept all the way through fifth hour. I arrived at school, rushing like crazy, in sixth hour. And what do I arrive to?

     Oli is back. First father, then him? Seriously world? I can only take so much! 

     Oli was my friend in elementary school. I also see him over summer sometimes. But he lives far away, so I never see him over the school year time. We text though. He never told me he was moving! Don't get me wrong, it's great he's here, I just don't know how many more surprises I can take before I collapse, mentally and physically.

     Apparently one more, because I love through Vic's surprise. If we're bring fair here, I think he surprised himself as much as me with his little speech today. I was impressed, I'll admit it. I didn't think he had it in him. I still don't, but just a small bit.

     I will say, when we kiss it feels... good. Definitely good. Like I'm a stupid princess from a cliche Disney movie. Yeah, something like that. I join st wish I knew what he was thinking, because I was most certainly lying when I said I wouldn't go public with him. I want to know if he was too, because if he was I will definitely so go public with him. 

     I'm pulled from my thoughts by a knock at the door. "Come in." I say. It's my mom, and she sits on the edge of my bed, next to me. 

     "Sweetie... he's here." She says delicately, like I'm so porcelain doll on the verge of breaking. Well, I might be. Delicate and on the edge of breaking, that is. I am not a fu.cking porcelain doll though. No, just no.

     When she says he, I know she means my father. They just recently figured out be was alive, and he immediately went to my old home when he could. He thought everything would be more or less like how he left. Oh, how wrong he was... 

      That's what my mother had been trying to contact me about. My father respected that I might not want to see him. More considerate than my mother is. She's just a bit.ch.

      Of course I told him he could see me. So he scheduled today at about right now. It's really kind of crazy that all these years he wasn't dead. Mind blowing, actually. I'm kind of on the edge about meeting him. I want to, but I don't want him to be ... I don't know. Different. Bad, like mother is. I'm just so sick of being disappointed.

      "Okay, I'll go down and see him." I tell her. She nods, but she looks like she's about to cry. "Is something wrong?" I ask her. She shakes her head.

      "No. Well, yes, but you don't need to worry about it now. Go. Meet your... dad." She sounds so sad. Why?

      "He's my father, not my dad." I say. This seems to cheer her up, I hope that she's okay. She recently seems to look so weighed down, like she's carrying the weight of the world. 

      "Alright then. Still, go see him. He's your father." I nod and get up, it's time to face him. I walk down the steps to the living room. I can hear voices from inside, as I wait outside for a second.

      "Sorry, Luci just... worries." I hear my dad say. Luci is my mom's name, what is she worrying about? 

      "Oh it's fine. I can understand her apprehension." A unfamiliar voice says to Dad. That must be my... father. Oh my god, I'm about to meet him. He's one who left me with my mother, who fought at Afghanistan.

      "Thank you. I know it must have irked you. Not being allowed to see your own son. But after all that stuff with Kellin's mother..." Dad trails off. What was he saying? Father wasn't allowed to see me? But why?

      "It did, I'll admit it. But when I learned about what Starr did, well, I would've understood if Kellin never wanted to see me again." He didn't know what mother did to me? God, he really was out of action. To come home and find out your family is broken and your child was abused... that's got to be rough.

      It's time to face him. To see him, and know him after all these years. I step into my living room. And both my dad and my father look at me.

     My voice is shaky when I say, "Hello, father."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's a conversation with Kellin's father, FINALLY. Be happy.

Kellin's POV

     He walks towards me, slowly. Like at any moment I might up and run away. Why does everyone take me to be this delicate person? I'm strong, I think I've proved that saying how long I lived with my mother.

     I laugh kind of awkwardly. "So..." I trail off, I have no idea what to say! Sure, he's my father, but that doesn't mean I have some connection with him that makes me know what I should say to him.

     He laughs. "You grew up to be just as awkward as I am!" I laugh too. 

     "I got that from you?" I ask. He smiles, and his eyes twinkle. I wonder if my eyes twinkle. He does kind if look like an older version of me. 

     "Yeah, you did. Definitely not from your mother, she's always been a social butterfly. Well, when I knew her that is. She's so different now..." he gets a pained look in his eyes. I realize he must have really loved her, because I know she started going dark when he was here. He never divorced her, I wonder if it's because he was still trying to save her.

     "Yeah, I barely remember her not being like she is..." I say. He gets an even more sorrowful look, and steps toward me a little bit.

     "Speaking of that... Kellin I am so, so sorry. I thought you would be fine with her. Her letters were so promising. I knew she needed me gone for a while to take charge of her life again, I just never meant to stay away as long as I did." Sadness echoes through his voice. I used to hold a small grudge against my father for leaving me with mother, but now it fades away. He really does seem sorry.

     "It's... it's okay." I say, trying to make him feel better. He just looks so torn up about what happened. It's not his fault, it's always been just her fault.

     He gives me a pained look. "No, no it isn't." The conversation moves on from that, and we end up talking for hours on my couch in the living room. That connection I was speaking of earlier, where it's so easy to talk to them? It happened, and it was so cool to see how much I grew up to be like my dad, I mean father. He's my father, not my dad. Right.

     Because of how easy it was to talk to him, I'm kind of mad at mother for going off the rails even before he left. If she hadn't, I would've grown up with my da- father and I wouldn't have gone through all I did. Hel.l, I probably would have grown up calling her Mom and him Dad, and I'd probably love mother. I would've had a family that didn't give up on being a family, I would've grown up with much better mental health. 

     Late at night he left to go to his apartment. He gave me a spare key in case I ever would want to visit him. We scheduled a time to meet at a local cafe. I actually feel pretty... content. Really.

     Better yet, it's a Saturday. Meaning I can sleep in tomorrow, and I also can think about everything. Oli, Vic, father. It was like an attack. But now I can actually contemplate all these new occurrences in my life, and not actually go completely crazy.

     Life is definitely getting better.

Vic's POV

     "I want to stop our arrangement." I say to Mr. Purdy on Monday morning. I've been thinking all weekend, and if I want something with Kellin, no matter how small, I shouldn't be sleeping with my math teacher on the side. In fact, I probably shouldn't be sleeping with my math teacher at all. It's not really what you'd call... moral? Yeah sure, you wouldn't close it a very moral thing. Still, I will miss all those A's I was getting...

     His reaction isn't anything like I had expected it to be. He didn't really protest, didn't get angry, or threaten me. He just raised an eyebrow. "Kid, you sure?" He asks. I hesitate. I'm really not.

     I slump my shoulders. "I... I don't really know." I say. "I want to have a relationship, ish, thing with some one-"

     "That Kellin kid?" He interrupts. I state at him in shock. 

     "How, I mean-" I stutter out. He laughs and leans back in his chair.

     "It's obvious to anyone who looks, kid." He says. "Especially when you guys almost made out right outside my office. I feel my cheeks heat up ask remember what happened outside his office. I never thought about whether he had heard us. He sees my embarrassed expression and laughs at me again.

     "Look kid," he sits up kinda straight again. "I'm not going to fight you about ending this little arrangement. But I will have to start grading you evenly." He shrugged. "I don't really care, I still got Andy if you go. But do you want to go?" I hesitate again.

     I really need good grades. As I mentioned before, I'm not particularly smart. I'm getting to college on a scholarship and maybe support from my Dad. But even that is questionable. Do I really want to get rid of my guaranteed good grades for a relationship that isn't even a relationship?

      "Okay, I guess I'm not going to go." I say. Mr. Purdy doesn't seem surprised.

     "Alright. But just know I'm not forcing you into anything. If you did leave I wouldn't give you all F's I'd just grade you fairly." I nod. I'm aware of that. Mr. Purdy is a chill teacher. I just also know if he graded next fairly I'd fail. 

     He pays my back. "Okay then! Now, our next appointment. Does Wednesday morning work?" I consider. I don't think I have anything.

     "I'm free."

*******

     In music, I notice Oli has seemingly merged into Kellin's little group with little to no notice that he was never there in the first place. It is like he's been there the whole time. I have to admit, he's pretty cool.

      Gerard gave us a new project. It was to take a popular song and rework it till it was barely recognisable, but still the same song. We could add things, lose things, or even do a reworked cover. And he told me, "Because I ship you two." Kellin and I are working together.

      Of course, the entire class laughed at that comment. One, because everyone knows we hate each other, or at least they think se hate each other. Two, because Mr. Iero sounded like such a tumblr user. When asked, he winked and said, "Who says I'm not?" It would actually make sense. Good Lord. 

     We got the opportunity to work out in the hall. We chose to rework 'Fuck you'. I'm going to do things with the back round music and beat, and Kellin is going to sing it. From what we've done so far, it sounds pretty fu.cking awesome. 

     Our more or less business only atmosphere was killed when Jenna walked past us and said in a joking tone, "OTP!" Pointing at us. I flipped her off, laughing. We dated for a little bit once upon a time. Now we're just friends. She laughed and walked off, but now the ice is, in a sense, broken. 

      "So..." I start. I swear, I'm getting to act so awkward around him. And that's just not me! I'm supposed to be cool, calm. My palms never get sweaty, so why are they now?!

     He looks up and down the hall, then when he sees no one leans over and kisses me. I don't expect it, so I don't respond for a second or two. When I do, I have to separate only a few seconds later. Why? Because I hard someone opening the music room door to come into the hall. It's sad, but true.

     It's just some chick going to the bathroom. Kellin smirks at me and we continue to work on our project till the bell rings. While we're packing up he whispers, "Meet me after our practices." I smirk back, and go to my seventh hour.

     Something I didn't notice earlier, Oli is in my seventh hour. We talk basically the whole way through. He's pretty cool, and actually kind of hot too. What? Just because I've missed Kellin and he blew me doesn't mean I can't think other guys are hot. I am sleeping with my math teacher as well, which is so totally worse than thinking that Oli is hot.

      Oli and I kinda started flirting. It was blatant, and everyone could tell. I think if things with Kellin go sour I might be just fine. That sounds bad. Still, it's true, even if I sound like a fu.ckboi.

     I say goodbye to Oli with a wink before going to soccer practice. Let me just say, it was brutal. Coach seemed to not realize it's a Monday. 

     But now practice is over, and after coach talks to me for a little while, I go see Kellin. He's still doing his private practice, and I'm fine watching him. What can I say? Kellin + Water + obvious muscles = hot. Now that's my kind of math. Just like how me + Kellin - clothes + bed = ;)

     He stops after a while, and when he sees me he smiles. He walks toward me and asks, "How long have you been watching me?" I shrug.

      "Long enough to know swimmer Kellin is also hot Kellin. " I see him blush a little bit. Aw, how adorable. I want to corrupt him. 

     I step towards him and lead him to the locker room. "Um Vic-" he starts.

     I shush him. "C'mon, Kellin. Here's our opportunity for some... fun." I say. He catches my drift, and looks a little hesitant. 

      "But, there's security cameras!" He protests.

     "Not in the shower part." I argue back. Maybe I'm pushing him too far. We did just agree to have a, well, something only Friday. But I'm all hot and bothered after seeing se.xy swimmer Kellin, and I'm not thinking straight.

     He hesitates a little more before nodding. "Okay."


	10. Chapter 10

     (Please don't hate me for what I'm going to do)

Vic's POV

     It's Halloween today. A lot has changed since the first time Kellin and I had se.x for the first time. First of all, we've had a lot more se.x since then and Kellin is no where near innocent or hesitant anymore. I kinda feel bad for corrupting him, but not really. And he's a kinky little sh.it. 

     Like, seriously. He likes being tied up. He likes being spanked, and he likes it when I practically fu.ck his face, or just use him for my pleasure. He likes being treated like a fu.cking wh.ore. Whoda thunk?

    Also, I met Kellin's family. They're actually pretty cool. Well, his dad is. His other family, the new one, is kinda stuck up. I don't know. They didn't seem to like me, so I don't like them. I sound like a toddler. Oh fu.ck me.

     Oli... well I'm still flirting with him a lot, and he flirts with me too. Even though he saw me and Kellin together! He told me that if I wanted a public relationship, he was available. I have to say, it's tempting. I finally worked up the guts to ask Kellin to go public with me a week ago, and you know what he said?

     He said no. 

     He was all "Sorry, my life is complicated right now. I'm just not ready for that yet." Yet.  That's the word people use to string people along. I've given him a deadline of a till Christmas to decide, and if he says no I'll just break it off. And he was fine with it. 

     Did he not get that that was a great opportunity to say yes? 

     I guess not. But I'm going to do my best to make him say yes before Christmas. I really, really like Kellin. I want to go public with him, and I don't get why he doesn't. Maybe he doubts me, I guess it would make sense as I am generally viewed as a conceited fu.ckboi. 

     Whatever. Today Kellin and I are having fun on Halloween. We're not going trick or treating or something like that, but I'm taking him to a Halloween party out of town. I don't really know the host, but they're a friend of a friend who wanted strangers at their party. That way we can act like a couple and not like we hate each other.

     I'm not dressing up as anything, I just don't do that I haven't since I still had a mom, before, ya know, she abandoned me. Kellin though? He's dressing up as... wait for it... me. Yup, he's dressing up as yours truly, Victor Fuentes. I think he thinks it's hilarious. It's so not funny, his costume is way off in so many ways. I think he might have done that on purpose. The little sh.it.

     First off, he's wearing all black. Okay, I'm not emo. Sure, I like emo bands, I have a nose ring, I dress a little bit like an emo would dress, and sometimes I do screamo, but that isn't the same as actually being an emo! Second, he is also wearing makeup! I don't wear makeup!

    I swear, Kellin hates me. Maybe that is why he doesn't want to go public. Shut up, Vic. That's stupid. To the max, for the win, all of that stuff. Of course he doesn't hate you, you idiot. Right? Oh my god, why am I even thinking about all this? Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. 

     I hear the ring of my doorbell and I roll my eyes at Kellin. He knows he doesn't have to ring my doorbell, he can come in anytime. I walk to the door, chuckling at Kellin's antics. Still, isn't it a bit early for Kellin to arrive? He said he'd be here at 5:00 P.M, and it's only 4:30 P.M. Whatever.

     I open the door to see blue-green eyes. To see black hair. But not Kellin. His father. "Why hello, Mr. Bostwick. What's up?" I say to him, trying to be casual. But the grim expression on his face is worrying me. Is Kellin okay?

     His voice is low and serious when he says, "We need to talk about Kellin." 

*******

Kellin's POV

     I arrive at Vic's at 4:56 P.M. It's a bit early, but he won't mind. He really likes me. It kind of makes me feel bad about denying and rejecting him about going public over and over. But I just can't right now, not with all the stress I've been having lately.

     One, my father and mother started dating again. I don't care how much he says she changed, that she's better now, she's a psycho bi.tch and I hate her. I guess she does make him happy though... and they technically never did divorce.

     Two, my mom and my dad have been fighting a lot lately. I don't know why! The only thing I've been able to discern is my name. That means I'm the problem. I keep sneaking out to my father's apartment. I've gotten closer to him, which only seems to be making my mom and my dad worse.

     Three, I caught Tay smoking. She's only in eight grade! How could she have gotten them from ... friends or something? They're all, like, twelve! She made me promise not to tell Mom or Dad if she stops. Still, I don't know if she lied. Should I be doubting my sister this much? 

     Four, I've started not hating my mother as much. That is scary as fu.ck. It's because of all the recent times I've been sneaking out to Da- Father's, sometimes Mother is there. I'll hand it to her, she really has seemed to get better. She doesn't hold hate in her eyes when she looks at me like she did when I was little. And I've hated her for so long, it's scary for the hate to start to do the unthinkable and just... fade away. 

     Five, Mom and Dad hate Vic. They tried to hide it when they officially met him, but I think he caught on. They hate him for so long because of how much I would rant to them about how awful he was before we were... whatever we are. Secret boyfriends? 

     And now Vic gets all sad when I reject him. I just can't have a real, public relationship right now. He gave me a deadline of Christmas to give him his answer. How could he?! I mean, sure, I haven't rd him zilch about my last or my current stress, but why can't he just trust me when I say that I can't right now?

     Maybe I should tell him. But then he might go into overprotective boyfriend mode and try to help while making it a lot more bad. And then there's Oli. It's like he doesn't know I haven't seen the way he looks at Vic. He walked in on us once, he knows we're ... something! And I know Vic likes him back, at least a little bit. Why se would he practically string him along? Even Vic isn't as sadistic as that. 

     Whatever. This is not a time to stress more. In fact, I'm getting away from the stress. With the amazing Vic. He's taking me out of town, so we can party and act couple-y. 

     I get to his house and see my father's car parked outside. What? Why would he be here? Maybe to give Vic the 'hurt my son and I will kill your sorry punk as.s' talk. Ugh, that's just so embarrassing. I can take care of myself just fine, thank you. 

     I am through the door, and see Vic sitting next to my father on the couch in Vic's living room. They seem to be deep in conversation, and it looks serious. Is it about me? There can't be that many people who are arguing about me, right? Then, Vic and Father don't look like they are arguing. Just talking about something fairly serious.

     Father spots me standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Kellin! Well, that's my queue to go, hopefully I can talk to you later. But right now..." He glances at his watch, "sh.it, I have fifteen minutes to get to my date with your mother. See ya!" With that he left hurriedly.

     "...Bye." I say to him, but he's already out the door and almost to his car. Vic stands up and walks to me.

     "So are you almost ready?" He asks, wrapping his arms around me. I turn in his arms to face him and frown.

     "Wait, what was all that about? Why was my father here? Why did you guys look so serious? Is everything okay?" Wow, I sound clingy. Good for me,  Vic laughs.

     "Calm it, Hon. And it's not my place to tell you what we were talking about, he Saud he was going to talk to you about it later. Then, we can talk about it all you want." He leans forward and pecks my nose. "Okay?"

      I consider. I don't want to seem clingy, and I suppose if I'm going to know later... "Okay." I say only a little bit hesitantly. He smiles and spins me gracefully out of his arms, like a dance. 

     "Alright then. Are you ready to go?" He asks again. I nod, even though know don't have my costume on. I decided not to wear it last minute. "But you don't have your Vic costume," he says, sounding a little bit confused. 

     "Meh." I say, and shrug. That's enough for Vic, and so he leads me go his car. We talk the whole way to the party. We talk about stupid and serious stuff, and it's nice to see a different side of Vic. He's way smarter than he thinks. And amazing. 

     When we get there the party is already is full swing. Drunk people are being crazy, people are dancing, costumed and not, and you can see people leading others to rooms for some... private time. 

      I laugh. There wasn't anything funny, but the atmosphere of this place was already affecting me, and I can almost physically feel all my stress just rolling off my shoulders. I have been needing this. To be free from all my stupid responsibilities and deadlines and stress, at least for a night. 

      I drag Vic into the house behind me, even though I know no one there and he does. I honestly don't care about anything at all right now. I just want to enjoy myself while I can. So, I do. For a little while.

      All that is ruined a few hours later when I spot Matty at the party. I told him about Vic and I, so I was cool that he could see us together and all that. What was bad was that he was drunk. Is drunk. He keeps trying to tell me he loves me, and Vic... isn't taking it well. He kind of beat up Matty.

     So instead of enjoying myself at the party, I'm here making sure Matty is okay. Well, I can clearly see he isn't, but I'm making sure he doesn't need a lot of help. Vic is cooling off in the car. I think we're leaving as soon as I exit the room I'm with Matty in. 

      I don't really mind Vic fighting for me, though. It's kind of... hot. Usually when a boyfriend or girlfriend has been overprotective or possessive I hated it, but not with Vic at all. Maybe he's just that special. 

     "Kellin?" I hear Matty's voice say. I turn to look at him, and he looks awful. He must be sobering up, because he doesn't have that drunk glint in his eye anymore. 

     I move over go him, and sit next to him on the bed. "Yeah Matty?" I respond. 

      He rubbed his bruised cheek before saying, "I'm really sorry about all that I said earlier." He grimaced, probably re-living some of it.

     I laugh a little bit. "It's fine, Matty."

     He chuckles nervously before saying, "but... I need you to know, I think you deserve to know..." He trails off and bites his lip. 

      I put an arm around his shoulder. "Matty. You know you can tell me anything." He sighs in defeat, and nods.

     "Yeah. It's just... I wasn't lying." My blood goes cold in shock. What?

     I think he feels me freeze, but I try to be chill. I fail. "Wait, what? I thought you  Rome it, broke us off!" It's true. I probably wouldn't have broken up with him if he didn't bring it up all those years ago. 

      "I know, I just thought I was holding you back. I thought you deserved better than me..." He says. My whole world is so crazy now. He. ll, it already was crazy! And now this as well? 

     "I- I can't believe it." I choke out. I'm breathing a little heavily. He sighs again, and I see a single tear roll down his cheek.

     "I know it's not fair, and I'm really, really sorry, Kellin. I just wanted you to know. I'm feeling like taking risks, after all I don't have much long left in L.A." the words don't really process. He still keeps talking, "You see, Kells, I'm... I'm moving. To Michigan."

     The words hit me like a punch in the gut. I start crying. "When?" I demand from him. He slumps his shoulders.

     "The day after Christmas."

*******

(Still Kellin's POV)

      I roll away from Vic, and his di.ck slides out of me. All of our frustrations were taken out on each other when we got back to his house. I look at the clock. It reads 12:37 P.M. Sh.it. My mom is gonna freak out, she said to be home by 12:00!

      "I gotta go!" I say, getting up and putting on my clothes. My butt hurts, Vic is huge, so I start to limp a little.

      I feel an arm on my shoulder, and turn around to see naked Vic staring sadly at me. "Why?" He asks, and his voice sounds kind of... rejected. Oh fu.ck, he thinks I'm using him for se.x, doesn't he.

     "My mom said to be home by twelve, she's gonna be so mad." I say, and even I can hear the panic in my voice. His face gets sympathetic.

     "Okay, okay, calm down." He says in a calming voice. He grips my shoulders when my breathing doesn't even out. He looks nd right in the face and says, "Darling you'll be okay." I look into his eyes, and use them to ground myself. My breathing slows back down. He smiles. "Good. Now, and it on me. They already hate me, it's fine." I nod.

     "Thank you so much, Vic." I say to him. I don't know what I would do without him. him. He just smiles at me.

     "Anytime, Kells."

*******

(Still in Kellin's POV)

     I get home, and don't even have to walk in to hear the yelling. I since when I hear my name. What did I do? Why are they arguing about me in the first place? I hate this so much, I wish they'd just confront me if they have a problem with me. But no, they have to go and create more drama!

     I decide not to go in. I really don't want to have to walk up to my room, pretending I don't hear them arguing about me. Maybe that's why Taylor has been smoking. It gar way if dealing with something completely and utterly foreign to her. 

      I turn around and head back to my car. As I pull away, I see Mom poke her head out, as if looking for confirmation. They probably heard me pull up,  it then I never came in. She spots me, and her eyes widen. She beckons for me to come inside, but I shake my head, no. I drive away, ignoring her face she sees that I am leaving them.

     The car pulls to a stop outside my da- father's apartment building. I know I don't have to, but I still knock when I get go his door. Father is not who answers. It's Mother.

     She doesn't look like a mess, her hair is nice. Her clothes are modest, and her make up is minimal showing her real beauty. Most of all, her eyes are bright and full of life. She smiles when she sees me. "Kellin! Your father and I were actually just talking about you!" She exclaims.

     These parents are talking about me too? Ugh. Why? I try to hide my irritation and frustration with a smile. She sees right through it though. "Kellin," she says, her eyes going side with worry. "Are you alright? You look like, well, a mess."

     "I-' she cuts me off by rolling her eyes.

     "Oh, I'm so stupid! Come in, come in! We can talk inside, I'm sure the neighbors will get mad at us otherwise. I tend to do that a lot, have conversations in the hallway, that us." She smiles sheepishly and ushers me in.

     It feels like she's a completely new person, it's so strange! But maybe, maybe I'm actually seeing my mother for the first time in years. She looks better than ever. Full of life and spirit, and she doesn't even smell like cigarettes!

     She pulls me in, and I see Father at the kitchen counter, making something. "Hey bud!" He says. "I'm making hot cocoa, want some?" 

     I step forward and sit on a stool at the counter. "Of course!" I respond enthusiastically. I hear the door close, and Mother joins me, sitting in a stool next to mine. Strangely, I don't mind her close presence. I don't know if it's the hair, the clothes, or just her attitude, but she doesn't seem like the same person at all.

     Mother makes small talk she Father prepares the cocoa. A few minutes later, he places a steaming green mug in front if me on the counter, and leans on his elbows on the counter. "So, Kellin," he starts. "I think it's about time for us to talk."


	11. Chapter 11

Kellin's POV

     "You're moving?" I shriek. I didn't mean to, but this has come out of no where. Da- Father looks a little nervous at my outburst.

     "Um, yeah. Your mother and I... we want a new start. This town has too many bad memories. This move will be our new slate." His voice is almost pleading. I try to calm down.

      "But... I thought I was going to get to know you." I glance at Mother. "Both of you." Mother's face lights up. I think I've mostly forgiven her. I can never really stay mad at anyone, especially when they've done as big of a 180 as Mother has. 

      Father sighs. "I know... and you still can." My head perks up.

      "What?" I say. "How?! You guys are leaving to... to-"

      "Michigan." Mother answers. Michigan?

     "Michigan?" I asks, wondering if my ears have suddenly stopped working. First Matty, now my biological parents? "Why Michigan?"

      Father brightens up a little. "Well, I got the job there I always wanted! Your mother calls me a nerd for this-"

     "You are!" She giggles. He smiles and rolls his eyes at her.

      "I've always wanted to teach at a college, and I got a job teaching philosophy at Michigan University!" Da- Father seems to excited, I can't help but feel a little happy for him. 

      "But anyway," he starts, "you can still get to know us." He looks kind if hopeful and nervous, and his expression is mirrored on Mother.

      "Wait," I interrupt as a thought crosses my mind. "Is this what you were talking to Vic about?" He nods.

      "Yes. I wanted to request him not to try to make you choose anything, let it be out of your brain that the decision is made." Father says evenly.

      "What decision?" I ask. Mother puts her hand on Father's. 

     "Kellin... we want you to come with us." She says. 

      To say I'm shocked would be an understatement. "W- what?" I say, breathless.

     Mother nervously bites her lip. "We want a second chance with you. At least until you went to college, and you could get a discount, or even get in for free at Michigan U! We just..." she sighs. "We want to be your parents."

      I take it in, breathing a little heavily. My breaths start getting faster, and it's getting harder and harder to calm down. I'm panicking, the world is closing in, I can't breathe! Father looks like he doesn't know what to do, but Mother puts her hand on my shoulder.

       "Kellin!" She says. "Find something to focus on. C'mon, breathe with me." She calms me down till I'm okay. "So you got panic attacks from me, huh?" She says sympathetically. 

     "Wait, you get them too?" I ask her. She nods, and then sighs.

     "When I was pregnant with you I hoped you wouldn't get them. I used to get them a lot." I feel sympathy for her. I know from many experiences that panic attacks are not fun.

     Father brings us back to the conversation. "So... we don't expect you to choose now, tomorrow, or even next week. But..."

     "But?" I question. 

     "The deadline to make your choice is Christmas." He tells me.

     I have two crazy families.

     Two amazing boys that I have feelings for and want to be with me.

     And two choices that need to be made by Christmas.

     Holy sh.it.

*******

Vic's POV

       
     I wake up with the sun shining in my eyes and Kellin long gone. Where was he going again? Oh right, his parents. Maybe I should call to make sure he got there okay, I mean he was really tired and kinda out of it last night. Fu.ck, I should have driven him to make sure he would be safe!

     I dial his number on my phone. I don't really like calling, but it's better at getting people to answer you. Especially when you need to make sure that they are okay. Like I am right now.

     His sleepy voice answers me, "Vic? Hey, what's up?" I sigh in relief. 

     "I- I just wanted go make sure you were okay. Yesterday you were really tired, and I don't know I was worried you might have got in an accident, or-" I get cut off by him laughing.

      "I'm fine, Vic. But did you know you are adorable when yours worried, flustered, and tired?" I blush. Why does that sound so se.xy? Maybe it's his amazing morning voice, like seriously it's just... ugh. He's too perfect.

     "Vic?" His voice snaps me out of thought. "Are you blushing? I can practically hear it."

     "Shut up!" I say. Nevertheless, more heat rises to my cheeks.

     "Yup. Definitely blushing," he teases me. He's lucky I love him. 

      Wait, what? I don't love him, just can't! Not when he doesn't even want to go public! Not when he might move away! I just... I can't. If I do love him, I'm confident he'll break my heart. 

      We keep talking till I hear a feminine voice say in the back round, "Kell? Who's that?"

     I hear him say, "Vic, my boyfriend. Vic, say hi to my mother!"

     "Hello Mrs. Bostwick!" I say. She seems really nice, May be a big panicky and tense. I think that her and Kellin are getting over a falling out, but when I asked him he just changed the subject. I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with why he got so mad at me when I mentioned her in the locker rooms, and why he lives with the Jardines, and why his last name is Quinn, not Bostwick or Jardine.

      "Oh, good morning Vic!" She replies. Kellin and I finish talking, and when we both hang up, I feel a whole in my heart. I kinda miss him already. Wait, no. Stop, Vic, stop. You can not be feeling this for Kellin. Just, ... no! 

     Okay, so I might be little in love with him. That's nothing, right? Right. Totally. 

      

      Fu.ck.

 

A/N CHAMPAGE COCAINE GASOLINE


	12. Chapter 12

Vic's POV

It's awkward to see Matty on Monday. I know he was drunk when he was hanging over Kellin, and when he confessed his love, but I sure as he. ll was not very drunk when I punched him. At least I know he was just drunk when he was acting all lovely towards Kellin. Otherwise I might still have a problem with him. I mean, Kellin is mine.

Well, as mine as he can be with us not even being public. God, I sound so butthurt over that. I guess I'm more... heart hurt over it? Sure, whatever. Good God, I'm clingy. Like, calm the fu.ck down, me. Shut up, me. 

I swear, I am so weird.

"Uh... hey Vic." He says when he passes me in the hall. I pretend to be friendly, and I smile.

"Hi Matty." I say before entering Mr. Purdy's room. We have an appointment this morning. However, Mr. Purdy isn't in the room, instead there's some old guy. "Umm, is Mr.Purdy here?" I ask him.

The old man turns to face me after grunting in surprise. "Sorry, kid. He's long gone." That's strange. Mr. Purdy never said anything about going on a vacation, and he'd tell me if he was cancelling an appointment. So why is he gone? It doesn't make any sense. Hopefully old guy has answers.

"Why?" I ask the old dude. He looks at me like I'm from a completely different planet than this one. 

"Didn't you hear over the weekend?" The old man says, condescending. "He got caught having an illegal relationship with a student."

*******

(Still Vic's POV)

     I swear, I can feel my heartbeat in my brain. I'm so nervous and dead feeling, I have been ever since that substitute teacher guy told me about Mr. Purdy. I can't believe that he actually got caught! And how was he caught? Who was he actually caught having the illegal relationship with? Not me, I at least know that. 

     At math class I was so lost. I haven't even been paying attention all year, I just figured I'd cruise right through because of my arrangement with Mr.Purdy. Now? I'm going to fail for sure. 

     In the five free minutes at the end of music class that Gerard, er, Mr. Iero gives us, the whole class was buzzing in conversation. The main topic? Mr.Purdy's scandal. 

    "It's disgusting, to take advantage of kids like that," Jaime says to Ronnie. 

     "I know, right! And to be the kid who was doing that, like that is just so eww." Ronnie replies. I feel my heart sinking, everyone is trash talking both Mr.Purdy and the kid who got caught with him, who ever it was.

     "I heard the kid he was with is Andy. That's Andy Biersack, you know." Some girl with brown hair says.

     "Really? I heard it was Vic," someone else says, loudly. Everyone looks at me.

     "What?!" I respond, sounding very offended. "Seriously, you think I would ever stoop that low?!" Kids nod, agreeing with me. It's times like these I am glad I'm popular, because I can say something and people will agree with me or believe me incredibly easily.

     Kellin speaks up. "I guess I would, Fuentes," he says in what to me is his playful voice. I fight back the urge to smile at him, but then he speaks again again. "Though I guess it is a little but low, even find you. Though it would make sense as we all know you aren't the sharpest knife in the block."

     His words hit me like a sucker punch, but I hide it by rolling my eyes and flipping him off. Inwardly, I hurt. Badly. Why would he say that when he knows how insecure I am about my intelligence? I did tell him.

     When the bell rings, I skip seventh hour. I hide in a broom closet, crying softly and shaking. It isn't just what he said just now, it's all of it. That he won't be public, he doesn't seem to really care about me, and he might just move soon and leave me. He can't! Not after all I've experienced with him, he just... He can't. I just won't be as to handle being left by my mom, my dad gone all the time, Mike avoids me, and.. Kellin might go. It's times like this I remember old promises of silver. 

     The door opens halfway through seventh hour. I look up, hoping that it's Kellin, but instead Oli walks in. He sees my in the corner of the closet, and sits next to me, not speaking. When he does his voice is even and calms me down, at least a little.

     "Are... are you okay, Vic?" Oli says. I face him, tears still rolling down my cheeks.

     My voice is gravelly when I say, "I'm so fu.cked up, Oli. I just... it's all falling apart. Right before my eyes, and I can't do anything to make it just stop already." I lower my head and also slump my shoulders in defeat.

    He puts his hand on my arm and gently raises my head to look at him. "Hey, hey, look at me," he says calmly. I blink away the tears and stare hopelessly at him. Darling, you'll be okay." He said, putting emphasis on each word by poking my side. I smile weakly at him. 

     "Now," he starts, still talking like you would to a distressed horse or something, "Tell me what's going on, what's wrong." 

     So I start speaking, and end up telling him everything. About having some crush on Kellin when I was young, about my mom leaving, my dad gone all the time. How I practically raised Mike, but I failed since he's always smoking and avoiding me. I even told him about how I used to self-harm. I tell him about my insecurities, and my fears. He just listened the whole time, and when Im done I feel a sense of peace wash over me. 

     Oli smiles at me. "Do you feel better now?"

     "Actually ... yeah. I really do. Thanks, Oli." I say. 

     "You should know by now there is nothing I won't do for you," he says. And even though I know I shouldn't even be thinking of this, I feel connected to Oli right now. He's so close, and caring. Kellin just... is not. 

     So, against my better judgement, I slowly, cautiously, connect our lips. He doesn't pull away, instead he closes his eyes, and responds. So I do the same, I closes my eyes and get lost in this kiss. There is no more worries, no more Kellin. Just Oli, me, and this moment in the janitor's closet.


	13. Chapter 13

Kellin's POV

     Vic isn't here. He usually meets me after my private practice, sometimes we'll have... fun... in the showers. He would never pass it up, and I know he didn't go home sick because I saw him heading off to soccer practice after school. I hope that he's okay. 

     It's already been fifteen minutes after my private practice, and he still isn't here. I check my phone again, but nope. I have no texts from him, or anyone actually. I sigh. I guess I'll take my shower now... alone.

      When I get out of the shower I have one text, and it's from Oli.

     Oli: Vic wanted me to tell you I'm tutoring him on math, that's why he didn't meet you

     Kellin: Why didn't he just text me himself?

     Oli: Dunno. I think he's a little mad at you, but he won't tell me why. Anyways, he really needs help with math, I mean he sucks at it a lot, so I Gtg.

     Kellin: Oh ok. 

     Why is Vic mad at me? What did I do? Maybe it was what I said in music, but seriously c'mon, Vic is not even close to being as sensitive as that. And since when does be need help with math? I thought he was an A student there. 

     I think I might really just be bothered by the fact he's alone with Oli. While Oli is my friend, one of my best friends actually, I do not really trust him around Vic. They have undeniable chemistry, not as strong as Vic and I's though. But I can tell they flirt around each other a ton. I guess that makes me wary. Especially when he's 'tutoring' Vic. 

     What if Vic is cheating on me? 

     The thought makes me inhale sharply while I collect my things and get inside my car. He couldn't. He wouldn't! I mean... no. Vic is not like that. I know him well enough to say he wouldn't ever stoop that low. He'd never. I am sure of it. 

     I mean, we have practically told each other we love each other! That's not what people who cheat would do. Plus, he'd never as he's doing his best to make me want to stay with him. So yeah, I'm sure he would never cheat.

     Right?

Vic's POV

     I push Oli back on the bed rather roughly. He lays there, biting his lip, as I pull my shirt off. I then join him, and kiss his neck. He giggles a little. "Vic, that tickles!" I just smirk and tug off his shirt and pants, leaving him in just his boxers. And dear God, he has  very se.xy body. 

     I moan when he starts palming me through my jeans. "Vic," he whines, "take them off. I want you in me already." I laugh a little at him, and continue to tease him by kissing down his neck, down his stomach, to the edge of his boxers. I love how he squirms under me.

     The air is so hot and thick around us, just like when he was trying to tutor me. It was purely innocent at first, but when he bit his lip I couldn't hold myself back. Which brings us to now.

     I slowly tug down his boxers till they're off his body, and then kiss up and down Oli's length. He moans lightly, and tugs on my hair. "Vic!" His voice gets higher.

     "Alright, alright. Patience." I say, smirking at him. His eyes are heavy lidded, and he pulls me back up to his lips. 

     We kiss hot and messy, and he murmurs against my lips, "Vic, please..." 

     "Please what?" I further tease him. He tugs off my boxers and starts slowly stroking me, causing me to hold back a moan. He raises his lips to my ear. 

     "Fu.ck me."

*******

(Still Vic's POV)

     "We can't do that again, Vic," Oli says, minutes after we finish but still breathing heavily. 

     "I know," I say, my arm still around his waist. His head is resting on my shoulder, and he's unconsciously drawing designs on my other arm. I know we should be getting up and dressed, but I kinda want to stay here. 

     "I mean," he starts, "Kellin. He doesn't deserve this. At all, and you want to be with him if he stays. So he can't know." There's a note of sorrow in his voice that I notice. I want it gone, but we both know that I can't do that.

     "Yeah," I reply. " but Oli?"

     "Yeah?" He says.

     "Even though I know we shouldn't have done that, and we definitely can't do it again... I want you to know I don't regret it." He breathes in sharply.

     "That's dangerous to say, Vic."

     "I know. But it's true." I say with a note of finality in my voice.

     He sighs. "Then I think you should know I have no regrets too."

     Our words hang in the air like bats from a branch. I know the power in what we said, and I also know I am an awful human being. If Kellin knew what we had done, he'd leave in an instant. 

     Even though I do love Kellin, the temptation for him to know is there. I can't help but want both boys, but I can only have one. And I know have to choose. Soon.

*******

Kellin's POV

     At 8:00 P.M. I decide it's too much, I have to call and make sure Vic is okay. That he isn't mad at me, or hurt. Oh god, please be okay Vic. I dial his number in a hurry, and feel waves of relief when he answers.

     "Hey Kells, what's up?" He says cheerfully. Is it just me or is that just a little bit strange, especially when Oli said Vic was mad or something like that.

     "Um, nothing, are you okay? Oli texted me after my private practice that he was tutoring you, that you might be... mad?" I say all this cautiously, in case he is mad.

     "Oh, sorry babe, that wasn't you I was mad at, it was coach. Stupid stuff with being captain, you know what I'm saying. Don't worry your cute little head about it." His words reassure me, but I can almost hear him hesitate, like he's... lying. 

     Of course he isn't, I mean he wouldn't. He'd never lie to me. Right? I mean, yeah, yeah, of course. Everything is fine.

     "Oh, okay then," I say. "I guess I'll go the-" I start to say, till I hear someone. Someone who sounds exactly like Oli does.

     "Vic?" They say. "You talking to Kellin?" 

     "Yeah." He says back.

     "Who's that?" I ask. I really, really hope it isn't Oli. I don't know why, but just. Yeah. 

     My hopes are crushed when Vic responds, "Oh... yeah it is." Well that doesn't sound suspicious at all. Wait, stop doubting him, God I am a horrible boyfriend. I need to learn to trust him more.

     "Why's he still still your house?" I ask, and I curse myself internally at the note of suspicion I can hear in my own voice. 

     "Er, I'm really bad at math, and he's still tutoring me." Vic says, sounding a bit nervous. But that might be tired I'm hearing in his voice, not nervous. Fu.ck, why am I so untrusting?

     "Oh. Um, okay." I say. I can't help but feel awkward, which I shouldn't because he's my boyfriend, not Oli's. "I guess... goodnight then?" I say, still sounding really awkward.

     "Uh, yeah. Good night, Kells." He says. 

     I hang up. 

     


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am cruel, really I am. Brace yourself.

Kellin's POV

     I'm really excited for today, mostly because Vic is taking me out on a date. Because we aren't public we have to kinda go out of the way, but it's worth it. I've been waiting a while, since Oli and Vic's tutoring sessions take up a bunch if his time, but he's finally found time for us. God, I think I love him. 

     He's so caring, and you can barely see it when you don't look for it. He's incredibly talented athletically and musically. He hates his voice, but I got him to sing a song for me once and his voice is amazing. Plus, the little things he does. Like how he's gotten to know how to help me with panic attacks. Or the way he holds my hand when he drives with me. He claims be only needs one hand to drive when he's with me.

     He pretends be doesn't care a lot, but I think Vic us just scared to show that he has feelings. I've... I've noticed the scars on his arms. They're usually hid by bracelets, burbs noticed them when we were... erm... doing the do. I haven't asked him about them yet, I figure he'll tell me when he's ready to talk. 

     Anyway, we're having a picnic date! It's so cliche, I know, but everyone wants to have that perfect movie moment at some point. With Vic, every moment is kinda like a perfect movie moment. Oh god, I've got it bad. 

     I hear a knock at my door, well, my dad- I mean father's apartment. I've been staying here for the last few days to get away from the arguments. Anyway, I roll my eyes at Vic. Who even knocks anymore? Doorbells exist for a reason. 

     The walk to the door, while short, is also nerve wrecking for me. I'm so comfortable about him, but I also really want to impress him. Like a fu.cking teenage girl or some sh.it.

     I open the door, and Vic is standing there with a grin on his face. His collar is weird and uneven, though. Like really up on one side and not on the other side too. Still, whatever, my boyfriend is a weirdo and I like it about him. It's cute.

    "Hey, boyfriend." Vic says, and from behind his back he pulls out a bouquet of... candy. Oh my Lord, I love him! 

     I squeal at the candy, grab it, and hug Vic. "Oh my god, you're so awesome!" I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. He chuckles.

     "I know, right?" He smirks, and bites his lip cockily. Like he is teasing me or something. Well, duh, of course he's teasing me! He is Vic.

     I pull back and slap his shoulder lightly and playfully. "Oh, shut up already, Vic." He raises an eyebrow, but then grabs my hand and leads me to his car. We talk the whole time, little things like the clouds, or favorite things. I can feel myself getting lost in him so easily, it's scary.

     We drive for about an hour, past the school, the suburbs, and eventually to a park in a different town. Well, not exactly town. More like we drove to a park in the middle of the city. 

     I feel like I'm glowing, I love cities and Vic knows it. I like the combinations of art and architecture styles, I love the little corner shops, I even like the graffiti. Cities, to me at least, are like one big art masterpiece. Suburbs are so crazily overrated. Why would anyone choose that boring life over this beauty?

     Vic laughs when he steps out of the car and sees I'm staring gape mouthed at everything. "Calm down, Kells. The real fun is only just about to start." He holds out hi s hand for me to take. For the strangest reason, I hesitate.

     I don't know, it's just... the over eager smile. Sure, we are both excited for the date but not this much in this way for him. The uneven collar, the slight strange look in his eyes. The seemingly perfect date. I guess... things are connecting. Like a jigsaw puzzle, but I only have half the pieces. 

     I take his hand and shake away my stupid thoughts. No. I am not going to over think and ruin the date that Vic took time to arrange and make perfect for us. He date that has been waiting for awhile. I need to learn to be more trusting.

     So, we picnic. It's actually really nice, with the sky having puffy white clouds, and the sun casting beautiful rays over the grassy expanse of land. We eat classic picnic flood, like sandwiches, and we lay on our backs and discuss the clouds. I feel like I'm in a movie. 

     We decide to put the picnic stuff in my car, we took mine since Vic's is in the shop getting repaired. Then we drive around the city, stopping in cute little stores that sell various things; paintings, socks, pottery, religious items (we went in there as a joke), and even an entire store devoted to hats and umbrellas! It was crazy amounts of fun, and even better because I am with Vic.

     We find a costume shop, and s p end about an hour just trying on silly costumes to make the other laugh. I think the owners ship us, because I can see them peeking at us from time to time, awwing at our couplyness.

     I think I might actually be in love with... Vic. The guy I used to hate with my entire being. It's crazy how fast things can turn around.

     When it's dark we stop at this cute little cafe/bakery/restaurant. It's adorable and family run. We get dinner there, both of us get spaghetti, and then when we finish dinner it's time for dessert.

     "Hmmm... I think I'll get a banana shake, please," Vic says to the waitress politely. He's really nice, I've noticed recently there is so much more to him than what is seen on the surface. 

      "And I'll get hot cocoa with whipped cream and nutmeg, please," I say to her. She nods, and I notice Vic smirking when I said whipped cream. "Oh, get your head out of the gutter." I tease him. The waitress laughs.

     "If you don't mind me saying," she starts, "you two make a really cute couple." I can feel myself beaming a little bit, and Vic is silently awwing at me suddenly getting embarrassingly bashful.

     "Oh, thanks," I reply. She exhaled rather loudly in relief.

     "Oh thank the lord you two are actually dating, it's so embarrassing when I say that and they're just friends or whatever," she says before walking back to the kitchen area to get our orders.

     When we get our desserts we make fools of ourselves, getting cream mustaches, making a mess, being idiots in general. 

     I should go public with him. Stop worrying. In this moment, I know what I want, finally. I open my mouth to tell him, until I see something and words entirely different from what I was going to say come right out of my mouth. 

     "What's that on your neck?" I say. His collar, the side that was awkwardly higher than the other, skipped down a bit. I thought at first that it was a mistake made by Vic, that he was simply being absent minded, but what if he was hiding something on purpose?

     "What?" He asks, taken totally aback. He looks down, then his eyes go wide. "Oh! This!" He lowers the collar more to reveal a hickey. I don't remember giving him that though.

     "How'd you get that?" I ask, sounding a little suspicious. He raises his eyebrow.

     "Dude. I got it from you, you as.shole." He says jokingly. But he seems nervous. I do think I remember giving him that hickey, but suddenly the final puzzle pieces fall into place. Vic smiling nervously after leaving Mr. Purdy's room. Vic never worrying about math. Vic having way more than a normal amount if 'appointments' in the morning or after school. The final puzzle piece clicks, and I gasp out loud.

     "What?" He asks, looking a bit confused.

     "Vic," I start in a dangerously low, even voice, "why were you mad and upset the day Mr. Purdy got arrested?"

     "What does this have to do with anyth-"

     "Why did you suddenly need math tutoring?"

     "Kellin, look, it's nothing, rea-"

     "And why were you always visiting Mr.Purdy before or after school?" I say this all, and this time he doesn't try to speak. He just sets his spoon for his dessert in the dish and clears his throat.

     "How long, Vic?" I ask, and I really, really, really hope he says never, that he has a good reason, that he wasn't doing what I think he was. Please, Vic, prove my suspicion wrong. Please.

     He looks down. "From the beginning of the year to the time he got arrested." The words hit me like a fist would. I'm finding it hard to breathe. I see a tear slip out of his eye. That gives me hope, actually. Maybe he was forced into it? While hat is awful, I really don't want Vic to have been ... doing that just ... behind my back. This is his last chance to save himself.

"Say it wasn't consensual," I say. "Tell me you didn't want to. Please, tell me he forced you to, that he would've failed you on purpose or something." My voice sounds pleading and desperate, but I guess it's because I am desperate. I... I love Vic. With all my heart, and I couldn't take it if he had been seeing Mr. Purdy, of all the people it could be, behind my back.

      He raises his gaze to meet mine. His voice is even when he talks, and he says, "Kellin. What happened between Mr.Purdy and I was completely and utterly meaningless, but yeah, it was also completely and utterly consensual." I gasp. It's getting harder to breathe. "Please," he starts, reaching for my hands, "let me explain-"

      "No." I yank my hands away from him. "Goodbye, Vic." I get up and walk out the door, then I drive away, leaving Vic there. He doesn't try to follow me or even stop me. 

*******

Vic's POV

     I pound into him hard and fast. He whimpers and moans beneath me. "Vic! Please, faster!" I chuckle a little bit, but comply. I know I've hit his prostate when he makes that 'oh' noise he always makes when I hit it. I grin, I'm close and I can tell by the sounds he's making that he's close too.

     "I'm almost there, babe," I say. He just nods, telling me he's definitely on the edge of ecstasy. Of course he would be. By now I know exactly what to do to make him be like putty in my hands, for me to model how I want.

      "Please, please, please," he moans. I love that it's me doing this to him. That I am the one with power to touch him and make him feel so, so good. 

      I angle myself only slightly different, hitting his prostate even harder and more accurately. The little hot noises he makes become so much more desperate, and sooner than later he's screaming, "Vic!" And coming. 

      I'm not long after him, spilling deep inside of his as.s. I ride out my high, then pull out of him. We clean up a little bit before cuddling together on my bed, naked and sated. For now.

     "We really need to be quieter," I say, stroking Oli's cheek softly with my thumb. "Mike keeps complaining."

     He turns in my arms to face me, and says, "In theory, there won't be a next time, so we won't need to be quieter. After all, as we always say-"

     I say it in unison with him, "Last time, no regrets." The sounds of our joined voices echo in my room. Insight, and hold him tighter against me. 

     "I think we both know that never happens. This is... what? The 20th 'last time'?" I say. He rolls his eyes. "Plus..." I start to say, but then I trail off. 

     "Plus?" He questions. 

     "Oh, right. Plus, Kellin might have ...broken up with me." I state it calmly, but just thinking about it makes my heart break even more. And I had to pay the check. I was gonna pay any way, but he didn't know! 

      After I paid I called Oli to pick me up. He's become one of my best friends recently, and I almost wish he had come around before Kellin and I started. Only a little and only sometimes, though. 

      Oli's reaction is not calm. "What?! You just said he was mad! He can't break up with you! You're beautiful, and perfect, and..." He sighs, "and you need him." I can see how hurt he is when he says that, and it hurts me as well as him. 

     "Oli," I say gently, "you know I need both of you. Equally. I... I love you." Oli smiles at me, and gives me a sweet kiss. When he disconnects our lips he speaks up.

      "I love you too."


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate meee.
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, this story has only a few chapters left but there is a sequel coming SOON so stay tuned for it! ;)

Kellin's POV

     Matty said not to forgive Vic. Mr. Iero said not to forgive Vic. Tay said not to forgive Vic. Alan and Austin said not to forgive Vic. Mike, Vic's brother, said I really shouldn't forgive Vic but he wouldn't say why. I know I shouldn't forgive Vic.

     But I'm in love with him. I can't help wanting him, I can't help crying in the middle of the night because I miss him. I just want him back. And he sure is making it hard. With those sad looks he gives me, the notes in my locker explaining, the voice mails. He won't let me go. 

     Strangely, Oli says I should forgive him. And I can trust Oli. At first I thought those 'tutoring' sessions were absolute BS, but whenever I have stopped by to see them during it, before I left Vic that is, they were always just working on stupid, boring math. So yeah, Oli is trustworthy.

     I think I forgave Vic a long time ago. Well, we've only been broken up a week or so, today is the first of December. So it is kinda about as long time ago as a few days ago can be. But yeah, I think he already is forgiven. He definitely seems promising to go back to. I'm just having trouble actually confronting him about it.

     But today is the day. It's a Tuesday, Vic should be free, I think. Am I awful for not memorizing his schedule? I don't think so, I think that just makes me not a stalker or some sh. it. 

     My parking space is right next to Vic's. Every day he's been attempting to talk to me, make me hear him, but I just walk past him. Today though? I plan on fairly listening to what he has to say. 

     When I pull up in the parking space next to his I see him leaning up against the side of his car. I'm kinda nervous, but I really just want to be in Vic's arms again. They feel like home. Not the home I grew up in, but a home like a kinda safe place. 

     I step out of my car cautiously. Vic immediately starts talking to me, "Kellin, please listen, look-"

     "Vic." I say his name rather quietly, but it's enough to stop the rambling. "I have been told by many people, including your own brother, that I should not even give you the time of day ever again." His gaze is pained when I say these words, and it kinda hurts me too.

     "But against my better judgement, I am going to listen to what you have to say. Better make it worthwhile." His eyes are wide, most likely in surprise that I'm even giving him a chance, no matter how small.

     "Talk."

*******

Vic's POV

     I may just be the happiest Jan alive right now. I am practically jumping on clouds, among stars. Why? Kellin took me back. 

     I had been missing him so much, and doing everything I could to get him back. I love him so much, I just couldn't let go! He's so incredible, amazing. 

     And he most definitely doesn't deserve to be cheated on. 

     I feel so bad about what Oli and I do. We basically fu.ck, but then say no regrets and never again. See how that's worked out so far. But I've dug myself too deep, and I've done the completely idiotic, worst thing I could do. 

     I fell for Oli too. It's so awful, I know, but I can't help my feelings for him. He's accepted me in a way I doubt Kellin has ever considered. Oli... knows me. And he doesn't hate me for who I am, in fact he just likes me more. He likes me for ... well, me. 

     Both boys mean so much to me, but I know I will have to choose at some point. I'm just putting that day off as far away as I can. Because I don't know who I'll choose, if I will make the right choice, or even if there is a right choice. People do sometimes say that love is blind. Well, my choice might be blind too. 

     Something that really scares me is Kellin choosing for me. By that I mean Kellin leaving to Michigan with his biological parents. Don't get me wrong, they're great. Just wonderful, though I still don't know why Kellin is living with the Jardine's. I just don't want him to leave me. 

     My mom left me because of who I am. My father is gone all the time because of me too. Mike has practically left me, he avoids me all the time. When I talk to him it's like I'm talking to a wall. I can't lose Kellin too. 

*******

     "I'm sorry, but I actually really need to just talk to you." That's Oli's response to me kissing his neck. We just finished a tutoring session, because he actually is tutoring me, and I was going to give him just a taste of a good time. But he sounds serious.

     "Yeah?" I ask him. I wonder if he's in trouble, I'll help him if he is. 

     Oli takes a deep breath. "Vic... we can't keep lying to ourselves. What we're doing to Kellin? It's wrong. It's awful. And it's tearing me up." 

     My breath leaves me. "Wait, you don't mean-"

     He gives me the sad eyes again. "I'm not done, Vic. Please, let me just finish saying this, okay?" I nod. He takes a deep breath. "It's awful what we're doing. But..." He sighs and puts his head in his hands. "But I love you, Vic."

     I'm confused now. Is he leaving me? Is he not? I don't even know. Everything is kind of a big, fat, confusing blur lately.

     He looks up at me again, and looks right into my eyes. His gaze is fierce. "Vic, in every stupid movie they say to fight for love. So I'm going to put up a fu.cking fight for you. I just can't do this... half and half action anymore. The going behind Kellin's back. I want something with you." His words are forceful, and I can tell he's been thinking about this a lot.

     "I want the entire world to know you are mine, and I want you to be mine. I want to publicly have something with you, Vic." My breath catches. Even Kellin doesn't want me publicly. Not really.

     "I don't want to continue to be the person you cry to and fu.ck on the side. I know I'm worth more than that. So," he stands up and I do too. "You have till Christmas to make your choice."

     "My choice?" I respond weakly. He nods.

     "Me or Kellin."


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the second to last chapter, stay tuned for the sequel!

Vic's POV

I need to think. Which is kinda surprising for me, because the choice should be obvious. I should choose Kellin. We have a connection I've never had with anyone before, and I love him a lot. 

But Oli. He's so amazing and accepting. He actually likes me for who I am, not the facade I use to hide. He really wants me, and I can't say that a part of me isn't reaching out for him as well. 

So yeah, I really need to think. Alone. And not just about Kellin and Oli, about me too. For the longest time now, I've blamed myself for my mother leaving. I mean, it was my coming out that made her storm out. That caused Dad to stay away a lot, and Mike and I hardly ever talk. But I don't think it has to be this way, I mean, we're the only blood family we have left after both sets of grandparents died and both my parents were only child's. 

So I head off to my thinking place. I've missed the last week of school before holidays, but Dad doesn't care. My thinking place is this cabin up in the woods, and it's really secluded and quiet. All that quiet makes it impossible to escape your brain, so it's perfect to make hard decisions in. 

*******

Strange things come back to me here. Like how Mom used to tuck me in, and had the nickname 'Egg' for me. It was because once when she was baking I smashed all her eggs on the floor because she wouldn't play with me.

I remember when Mike was shorter than me and Mom was still around. He looked up to me so much, figuratively and literally. I kinda miss it all. I miss my Mom so, so much. I miss my Dad. I miss Mke. I miss when I didn't have to think. When life wasn't a living nightmare for me, like in eighth grade and freshmen year.

(Possible trigger)

I had come to terms that Kellin was not to blame for my fu.cked up family. So I tried being nice a few times, and each time he really hurt me, a sadistic smile on his face the whole time. So I did what they said helped on all the social media. I put a blade to my arm.

And now I wear bracelets.

(Trigger possibility over)

This us going to be so hard... I really, really, really have to choose though. And th he choice needs to be made almost immediately. My time is running out.

*******

After all this time in the cabin, I've made my decision. I need to get home, and now. Before the boy who makes my life slips away forever.

Kellin's POV

"Mom! Dad! Please stop!" I yell at them. They've been arguing for hours, and it hurts for them to be so hostile to each other. Tay is curled up in a ball in the corner of her room, crying her eyes out. Can't hey see what they're doing to us?

Mom turns to me, and her words are laced with venom when she speaks. "Stay out of this, Kellin. You're just a child, founding know any of what you're messages around with." Her words hit me hard. Why is Mom acting like this?

I gasp. Whenever I used to think like that it was about my biological mother. 

"He's not a child! He's 18! He can make his own choices!" Dad yells at Mom. "You can't just pull your trump card over his life! It's his life, not yours!" The thing is, I feel like this is what they have been arguing about the entire time. 

"No, I will, I have to protect Kellin. He's going to choose wrong, I know it!" Mom yells back.

"How can you pretend you know what the right choice for Kellin is?! That's his right, not yours!" Dad counters. Mom yells back, and the argument continues and I gate this so much. I can't take it anymore. I had till Christmas to choose, but they have pushed me to making my choice right now.

"That's enough!" I scream. They both stand still and silent, most likely in shock that I actually yelled at them. "I have made my choice." I say in a calmer voice, and Mom gets a mean expression on her face, like she already knows what I am going to say.

"I'm moving to Michigan."

********

I figured Vic should be the first to know, because I'll be leaving him here. But I have something else to tell him too, I'm willing go public with him! Sure, we might be long distance for a while, but that time will pass by super fast, right? And then we'll be together again, and we'll get married and adopt a mess lotion kiddies. 

Just kidding. Though a future with Vic doesn't sound bad at all. In fact, it's kinda idealistic. He seems like the perfect person to grow old with, and I don't know. I guess I'm just really mushy right now 'cause all my parents arguing fu.cked with my feelings, and now I'm like a delicate, frail, little wisp.

Speaking of my parents, I can't believe I'm leaving them for, well, my parents. Biological ones, that is. I just couldn't take all the arguing anymore. If that house stays like that I'll have to come back for Tay when she turns 18 years old. And while I hate leaving her, I have to finally do the right thing for me, not for anyone else.

I feel my pocket buzz, I probably just got a text. I would normally check it, but it's most likely Vic and I'm already at his house. Whatever he texted me can just wait till I see him in person. I'm actually, strangely, a little bit anxious about all this.

I have the words for when I talk to Vic already prepared on my tongue when I knock on Vic's door. But Vic doesn't answer, Mike does. He looks at me with sad eyes. "Come on in," he says, and then grumbles, "don't say I never warned you."

"What?" I ask him. He just shakes his head and closes the door behind me when I step across their threshold. His pity eyes are beginning to bother me. "No, seriously, what?" I ask him curiously, putting my hand on his shoulder. 

He sighs. "Vic's in his room. Tell them to quiet down." Then he leaves. What did he mean, 'them'? Does Vic have a math tutoring session right now or something?

Whatever. I head up to Vic's room light footed, I want to surprise him. I stop right outside his door and am about to open it till I hear something. Moans. Is Vic, like, masturbating? Well, isn't that kinda... awkward. 

My awkwardness leaves when I hear something. There are two different types of moaning. What? Vic couldn't be, I mean he would never... there's a good explanation for this. There has to be. There just... it can't be what it seems like. I can trust Vic, I know it. He is not cheating on me. 

All my hopes are dashed when I hear a voice speak up. I voice that I recognize from years of knowing it. 

"Vic?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Before we go on, I need you to promise me something."

"Ok, sure?"

"No regrets. I know we say that every time, but this time I mean it. You have o really be choosing me right now."

"Well you don't have to worry about that, I thought long and hard about this. I want, no, I need you."

"Okay, then promise me, for the first time since that Monday after Halloween, this won't be the last time. That we mean it when we say no regrets. And that when we go back to school you and I walk in holding hands."

"Of course, babe. I promise."

"I love you, Vic."

"I love you too, Oli."

The words hit me hard. I feel like dying, like crying in a holler and disappearing forever. I hate this feeling! Like my heart is being ripped out, slowly and mercilessly. I quietly walk away at from Vic's room, and go to leave. I feel an hand on my arm first.

It's Mike. I face him with tear filled eyes. His eyes are still full of pity but also some pain as well, and I know that he's been fighting with himself to tell me. A tear spills onto my cheek as I think about what they said. 

Ever since the Monday after Halloween. And Mr. Purdy before that. Good God, Vic was cheating on me every single day of our relationship! And with Oli? He is one if my best friends, how could he do that to me? Or, he was one of my best friends. 

Mike opens his mouth to talk, then closes it, like a fish. I bite my lip. "It's okay," I rasp out. "I forgive you for not telling me, Mike." He nods, and I swear I can see a small tear trapped in his eye. 

I turn away again, to leave forever, but Mike stops me again with a hug. "Get over him," he whispers to me forcefully. "Just get over that as.shole, because he is not worth it. You understand me? Not. Worth. It." I nod, and return the hug. When we separate I smile weakly.

"Goodbye, Mike." I say. He nods.

"See you around, well, maybe anyways. Have a nice life, Kellin." I close the door behind me, and drive in my car to the local playground. 

There I cry. For hours. I cry till it's dark outside, I cry till my tears dry up. I cry and curse, and shake, and wish for death because the pain in my heart is just to much for me to handle. It's too much!

Vic didn't choose me. While I never knew he had a choice to make in the first place, it seems like Oli told Vic to choose between us. And Vic didn't choose me. He chose Oli. Was I not good enough? Did he not want me anymore? What did I do to deserve cheating anyway? 

No. I didn't deserve this. None of this is my fault, it's Vic's. But that just hurts more. It hurts to much to even think about him. 

So that's why Mike said I really shouldn't forgive him for Mr. Purdy. But what did he mean when he said he warned me? I never got a warning of any kind, much less from Mike.

I remember the buzz in my pocket and check my phone. I have that one new text, but it's not from Vic, it's from 'unknown number'. It says, 'Hey this is Mike, Vic's brother as you know. I'm not earning you, don't come here today if you don't want your heart broken. I'm giving you a chance to get out of this, please take it because if you come you WILL regret it.

Mike's right, I do regret it. I really should've checked my phone. I guess what they say about ignorance being bliss is right. 

My phone buzzes in my hand, and I check to see who texted me. It was Da- I mean Father. It says, 'Please come ASAP. We need to talk. Well doesn't that sound super duper promising. Note the obvious sarcasm. 

Even though I don't trust myself to drive carefully, I don't really care. So, I head out to my Father's apartment. Maybe he just wants to talk about the house we'll be moving into. After all, I did choose to move before I even knew that Vic was cheating on me.

When I arrive at the apartment I take my time to get up there. Mostly because I have to check myself out in the mirror and make it look like my heart didn't just get cruelly broken. Like I never even dreamed of crying ever. 

I get myself more or less decent, and so then I head up to Father and Mother's apartment. When I get inside I'm greeted by more than just my biological parents, but the Jardine's are here's to.

"Why are they here?" I ask, pointing to them rudely. I don't care, I've been hurt to many times today by people I trusted. 

Mother won't look at me and Father's gaze is pained. "Sit down, please," he says, "we... we need to talk."

I don't sit down. They didn't answer me. Why am I getting a bad vibe from this? "Why are they here?" I ask again, my voice shaking dangerously.

Mom, or no, Mrs. Jardine, stands up. "Kellin-"

"I don't want to talk to you," I snap at her. She looks hurt for a second, but then her expression hardens. 

"I'm so, so sorry, Kells," Mother speaks up, still not looking at me. 

"Why?" I ask, my voice still shaking. "What's going on?"

Mrs. Jardine takes a step toward me and I back up. She rolls her eyes, but continues with what she is saying.

"Kellin, you aren't moving to Michigan."


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the FINAL chapter. The sequel is called 'Maybe we're Meant to Lose the Ones we love, but I'll Fight for you till Then.' Stay tuned, I'm posting the first chapter within a week. 
> 
> I just want to say thanks so much guys, I love writing and I love you guys.

Vic's POV

Today is Christmas, and I'm actually feeling pretty nice. The day is almost over, and right now Oli, Mike, Dad and I are sitting by a actual fire in the fireplace, sipping hot cocoa. I'm at peace. 

Mike told me Kellin found out about us. I winced when I found out how, I mean that is just cruel. I swear I never knew he was going to come over. I wanted to break up with him gently, not break his heart right before his eyes. But the past is in the past, and I can't change that.

I know I shouldn't have chosen Oli. I knew it when I chose him. But I made the choice I did for me and Kellin. I love Oli, I do, and he loves me. He accepts me in a way Kellin never has. But I also know I would be happier with Kellin. I just can't do that to him.

I am not lying to myself, I know I'm an awful human being, and I know that all I would bring Kellin would be pain. Maybe... maybe we're just meant to lose the ones we love.

Kellin was meant to lose me. We were like a time bomb, we had a set limit and when we exploded we hurt a lot of people. Luckily I had Oli to pull me out of the wreckage. I don't doubt for a second Kellin Wil find someone amazing to pull him from the wreckage.

Wherever he is. See, I never saw him leave with his biological parents, but when I asked them they said he did move, but not with them and not to Michigan. I asked the Jardine's, but they hate me so they just slammed their door in my face. 

I guess I'm okay with that, as long as Kellin is alright.


End file.
